Gaslighting and Communication
Lindsey and Joey discuss the dynamics of gaslighting and the challenges of effective communication, exploring the impact of withholding information and the fear of speaking up in relationships. They share personal experiences and insights, highlighting the importance of transparency and finding the right time to have difficult conversations.In this clip
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643. The HR-ification of Relationships + "Spiritual" People Dating
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Are my friends toxic? What's wrong with me? Some behaviors that come to mind are having issues with people but not communicating them, being passive-aggressive at times, screenshotting people's conversations and making fun of them (beyond venting) in private, sharing pictures of people they consider ugly and saying awful things about them, and often talking horribly about people without trying to address the problems they have with these individuals. I'm a more sensitive person, so I try to keep that in mind. I find it hard to be vulnerable, engage with them, or push back without second-guessing how to phrase things because I see how they act about others when I'm around, and I don't want to be on the receiving end of their behavior. I regret not pushing back more. I've had this limiting thought: the times I've pushed back and they've acknowledged their behavior, they seem to be aware and double down on what they call being "shitty." I'm struggling to distance myself because I enjoy the good times with them, but I'm finding it hard to get to those times and make it worth it. I feel like I look too much into their behavior, trying to figure out if they're mad or whatever.
What does it mean when you realize you may have been making a mistake or taking criticism in a negative or defensive way on a project, as discussed in episode 225: Kim Scott | Care Personally, Challenge Directly with Radical Candor? I'm also frustrated about how I acted—responsive and thankful but also annoyed—when Kaitlyn suggested I do something differently. Overall, I have a weird relationship or connection with one manager at work. I'm going to change how I've been acting. I'm just an intern, but it's not obvious; everyone else loves me, and I love them. It's just this one person, and I need to change my attitude. She rarely gives me the space to explain and often asserts herself in the middle of presentations without letting me continue. It's very different from everyone else there. While it's useful in some ways, it's also frustrating. I'm proud that I recognize I need to adjust to her behavior. Will this change help her loosen her resistance too?
How can I maintain friendships while experiencing personal growth and change, especially if I have a tendency to leave friendships behind or struggle with finding interesting things to talk about? This question is in relation to the episodes #068: Mark’s First "Girlfriend" Tells Her Story with Michelle Dow, Reconnecting After Silence, 1063: Working for Kin Might Just Do You In | Feedback Friday, The Power of Listening, What I Learned In My 20's: Self Love, Boundaries, Comparison & Trusting My Intuition, 627. Meeting the Anger Within + Taking Off Your Mask with Hannah Eden, and 881: Finding Your Angle in Covert Love Triangle | Feedback Friday. Many relationships that were very good at one point faded when I moved on, started new things, or grew professionally. I feel responsible for this.