Advice on Making Love Last . . . From a Divorce Lawyer

Financial Trust

Financial trust is a cornerstone of a healthy marriage, yet it often becomes a source of conflict. James Sexton compares financial dishonesty to infidelity, highlighting the betrayal of trust it can cause. He suggests maintaining some financial privacy, even within a marriage, to preserve autonomy and prevent resentment 1. Sexton warns against the dangers of financial ignorance, emphasizing the importance of understanding your partner's financial stresses and realities 2.

It is very dangerous to just hand everything over to another person. I understand, again, the temptation to do it. But long term, don't you want to have some sense of what's going on with your partner and their stresses as well?

--- James Sexton

He believes that financial transparency can prevent other marital issues, as financial stress often translates into broader relationship problems.

   

Joint Finances

Managing joint finances requires clear communication and shared responsibility. Sexton advises couples to regularly discuss their financial situation, even if one partner typically handles the finances 3. He likens financial management to cooking, where both partners should know the basics to ensure stability in case of unforeseen circumstances.

You need to know how to cook, and maybe you don't need to know how to be a gourmet cook, but you at least know, how do I scramble an egg? How do I make some spaghetti?

--- James Sexton

Sexton also recommends maintaining individual accounts alongside joint ones to allow for personal spending autonomy, which can reduce tension and foster a sense of independence within the marriage 4.