The 5 Shifts of Manhood

Introduction

Jon Tyson introduces the concept of the five shifts of manhood, inspired by Richard Rohr's rules for manhood. These shifts are designed to help boys transition into mature masculinity by focusing on progress and personal growth. Jon emphasizes the importance of framing these shifts as a journey to motivate young men.

Boys psychologically are interested in ease, primarily care about themselves, think they're the center of everything, try and control their lives to manipulate it how they want, and then think only about the moment. But men embrace difficulty. They have an other orientation. They realize they're just a small part of a great story.

--- Jon Tyson

The five shifts include moving from ease to difficulty, self to others, whole to apart, control to surrender, and the temporary to the eternal 1 2.

   

Ease to Difficulty

The first shift, from ease to difficulty, addresses the tendency of boys to avoid challenges. Jon explains that modern parenting often shields children from difficulties, leading to increased anxiety and a lack of preparedness for adulthood. He advocates for embracing hard things to build internal honor and confidence.

Parents thought they were helping their kids by taking away their difficulties, taking away their challenges. And all it did was actually make them feel insecure and ill prepared to face the realities of life.

--- Jon Tyson

Jon also highlights the importance of rites of passage and community support in guiding young men through this transition 3 4.

   

Self to Others

Shifting from self-centeredness to considering others is crucial for developing maturity. Jon suggests that parents and mentors should involve young men in community service and expose them to diverse experiences. This helps them understand their role in a larger context and develop empathy.

Your neighbor is whoever's in front of you with a need. And when you view, like, loving your neighbor as you love yourself is whoever's in front of me with a need, that's an opportunity to go beyond myself and to repair the world, even in a small way.

--- Jon Tyson

Such experiences can irreparably break the cycle of selfishness and entitlement, fostering a sense of responsibility and kindness 5 6.

   

Control to Surrender

The shift from control to surrender involves recognizing that not everything is within one's control and learning to trust in larger purposes. Jon uses examples from his faith tradition to illustrate the courage required to surrender and the dangers of a controlling spirit.

The ultimate example is Christ in Gethsemane. You know, here is the greatest man who's ever lived a life of love, and he's on his knees, sweating drops of blood, saying, father, not my will, but you'll be done. And it actually takes incredible, incredible courage to surrender.

--- Jon Tyson

He argues that surrendering to something greater than oneself can lead to a more fulfilling and less anxiety-ridden life 7 8.