Answers to the FAQ of Modern Etiquette

Dating Etiquette

Ghosting in dating scenarios often sparks debate about its appropriateness. Thomas Farley argues that ghosting can be defensible in situations where personal safety is a concern or when someone has been genuinely offended 1. However, he emphasizes that if there's no significant reason, it's better to communicate directly, even if it's uncomfortable 2.

I think there are ways to make it sting less. And I think if this is a dating situation and you've had one date and there was not a love connection, ideally, both parties feel the lack of love connection.

--- Thomas Farley

In cases where one party is more interested than the other, a gentle letdown is preferable to leaving someone wondering about the lack of response.

   

Professional Etiquette

In professional settings, ghosting can have significant implications. Thomas Farley notes that ignoring professional communications without reason is generally unacceptable, especially when someone is relying on your feedback 1. He suggests that while it might be tempting to avoid uncomfortable conversations, addressing issues directly is more respectful and productive.

If someone needs your feedback on something and there's someone that you care about, and you are the only stakeholder in this interaction, who holds the cards, who holds the answer, and they're seeking an answer from you, whether it's a co worker, whether it's a loved one, a sister, a parent, or a prospective spouse or significant other, to just completely ignore them for no explicable reason that I would not say is acceptable.

--- Thomas Farley

Farley acknowledges that there are rare instances where ghosting might be justified, but these are exceptions rather than the rule.