#246: How to Get Better at Taking Feedback

Appreciation

Appreciation plays a crucial role in both workplace and personal relationships, yet it often gets overlooked. Doug Stone highlights that many American workers feel underappreciated, with studies showing that over 90% cite lack of appreciation as a primary reason for leaving jobs voluntarily 1. He emphasizes the importance of specific appreciation, as generic praise can feel insincere and ineffective. Stone shares an example from his guitar lessons, where he sought appreciation but received coaching instead, illustrating how misinterpretation can lead to dissatisfaction 2.

Appreciation can easily drop out, but studies have shown that over 90% of American workers feel underappreciated at work.

--- Doug Stone

Specific appreciation not only boosts morale but also reinforces positive behaviors, making it a vital component of effective feedback.

   

Balanced Feedback

Balanced feedback involves a mix of appreciation, coaching, and evaluation, each serving distinct purposes. Doug Stone explains that appreciation acknowledges effort, coaching offers improvement advice, and evaluation ranks performance 3. He criticizes the "compliment sandwich" method, arguing that it often fails because recipients focus on the negative feedback, dismissing the positive 4. Instead, Stone suggests focusing on how feedback is received, as the receiver ultimately decides its value and application.

The challenge with the compliment sandwich is especially people notice that it's a pattern. They kind of dismiss the positive stuff and then they just take on the negative stuff.

--- Doug Stone

By understanding and separating these feedback types, individuals can enhance communication and foster growth.