How to Change and Improve Organisations | Nilguin van Raad | Beyond Coding Podcast #109

Family Hardships

Patrick Akil shares his personal journey of overcoming significant family hardships. He recounts how his mother's battle with cancer during his university years shaped his perspective on life and family. Nilguin van Raad emphasizes the importance of choosing how to react to adversity, highlighting that while one can be a victim, it's crucial to decide how long to stay in that mindset 1 2.

You accept that it has happened. You choose to move forward. There are things that have happened. Like, my mom got cancer twice when I was in university.

--- Patrick Akil

Patrick and Nilguin discuss how overcoming hardships can provide a unique sense of perspective and stability, making future challenges seem less daunting 2.

   

Choosing Happiness

The conversation shifts to the concept of choosing happiness despite life's challenges. Nilguin explains that happiness is a choice and emphasizes the importance of not blaming others or past situations for one's current state. She believes that everyone has the power to control their thoughts and feelings, and thus their happiness 3.

You can't blame not being happy on others or situations that had happened in the past. It's kind of stupid to have, I don't know, 30 years in which you're not happy because you had five years as a childhood which were not that nice.

--- Nilguin van Raad

Patrick agrees, noting that while it can be difficult initially, choosing happiness becomes easier with practice and perspective 3.

   

Grounded Individuals

Patrick and Nilguin discuss the characteristics of grounded individuals who have successfully navigated personal growth. Patrick reflects on how his mother's guidance helped him stay focused and resilient during tough times. Nilguin adds that people often act like those around them, and this behavior can be seen in families, organizations, and friend circles 4.

You act like the people around you, and if they're different than you, they do things differently as well. And it gives you perspective.

--- Patrick Akil

They also touch on effective communication strategies, with Nilguin highlighting the Rose of Leary model and its impact on influencing conversations and building relationships 5.