REPLAY - Thomas DeLong – Authentic Leadership (Capital Allocators, EP.18)

Self-Doubt

High achievers often grapple with self-doubt, a phenomenon Thomas DeLong describes as experiential avoidance. This involves focusing on unspoken conversations and self-doubting narratives, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed and reactive 1. He shares his personal experiences with students, illustrating the contrast between self-affirming and self-doubting stories.

I still feel like a failure because my goal was to be a university president, and I'm not going to make it.

--- Thomas DeLong

DeLong emphasizes the importance of recognizing these narratives and managing the tension between achievement and self-worth, a challenge he likens to an addiction 2.

   

Curiosity Shift

Transitioning from a mindset of certainty to one of curiosity can significantly enhance personal and professional growth. DeLong highlights the work of Bob Keegan, who identifies stages of adult development, including the imperial phase where relationships are instrumental 3. Embracing curiosity allows individuals to listen more and learn from others, moving beyond the need to project a certain image.

If you live a more curious life, you're going to listen more, you're going to be more interesting, you're going to learn a lot more.

--- Thomas DeLong

This shift helps manage insecurities and fosters a deeper understanding of oneself and others, as Ted Seides reflects on his own experiences at Harvard Business School 4.