How to Turn a Boy Into a Man

Ceremonies

Jon Tyson shares the profound impact of initiating his son's journey into manhood with a formal ceremony. This journey began with a "severing dinner" with his mother, which Jon's son, Nate, found psychologically powerful. The formal initiation ceremony involved other fathers and took place on a beach, marking the boys' transition from adolescence to manhood 1. Jon also emphasized the importance of a gap year, allowing his son to experience the world and internalize the lessons learned from his community 2.

I want to irreparably break my son's heart for the global poor. I want him to see the privileges growing in the disparity in the world.

--- Jon Tyson

   

5 Shifts

Jon Tyson adapted Richard Rohr's concept of the five rules of manhood into the '5 Shifts of Manhood' to guide his son's development. These shifts include moving from ease to difficulty, self to others, and temporary to eternal, among others 3. Jon also introduced masculine archetypes, such as the lover, leader, and warrior, to motivate his son and provide a framework for his growth 4.

Boys embrace ease. Men embrace difficulty. Boys are about themselves. Men are about others.

--- Jon Tyson

   

Teaching Values

Teaching core values was a central goal in Jon Tyson's rite of passage for his son. He emphasized classical virtues like justice, wisdom, courage, and self-restraint, as well as faith, hope, and love 5. Jon used spaced repetition and daily discussions to ensure these values were deeply ingrained in his son's character 6.

We need just men in a world of tyrants. We need restrained men in a world of excess. We need wise men in a world of fools, and we need courageous men in a world of fear.

--- Jon Tyson