Ryan Holiday and Steven Pressfield on How To Write, How To Forgive and More | Ask Daily Stoic

Saying No

Ryan Holiday and Steven Pressfield discuss the art of saying no, emphasizing the importance of discerning essential commitments from unnecessary obligations. Pressfield admits that saying no has been a lifelong challenge due to his desire to be perceived as a nice person, while Holiday shares how having children has clarified his priorities, making it easier to refuse requests that steal time from his family 1 2. Holiday reflects on the Stoic principle of only saying yes to what is essential, highlighting the need to protect one's time and energy 1.

Realizing that saying yes to writing this forward or saying yes to some dinner or things like that, that I'm stealing that time from a three-year-old is. It embodies it in a visceral, heartbreaking form.

--- Ryan Holiday

Pressfield and Holiday agree that setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining personal well-being and fulfilling responsibilities to oneself and loved ones 2.

   

Finite Moments

Reflecting on the finite nature of life, Ryan Holiday shares a poignant story about Kobe Bryant, who chose to spend his last moments with his family rather than engage in professional obligations 3. This story underscores the Stoic belief in prioritizing meaningful moments over external validation. Holiday emphasizes that true success is measured by an empty calendar, allowing for personal fulfillment and time with loved ones 4.

You do not have an unlimited amount of time to do your work, to be with your family. And so you're saying no feels selfish. But also, if what you do is important and the relationships that you have are important, it's actually more selfish to say yes.

--- Ryan Holiday

By setting boundaries and focusing on what truly matters, individuals can lead more fulfilling lives, free from the constraints of unnecessary obligations 3.