How Can I Get My Kid to Stop Doing an Annoying Behavior?

Identity Assertion

Spitting can be a perplexing behavior for parents, often leaving them frustrated and confused. Dr. Becky Kennedy explains that for children, spitting can be a form of asserting their individuality and independence. When a child sees a parent react strongly to spitting, it reinforces their sense of self as separate from their parents. 1

Watching a parent get very upset and trying to stop you from doing something you are currently doing is actually something that makes a child feel very independent.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

To address this, Dr. Becky suggests embracing the behavior in a controlled manner, such as designating a "spitting room," to remove the rebellious thrill and redirect the child's need for individuality into other areas. 2

   

Deeper Meanings

Understanding the deeper meanings behind children's behaviors can transform how parents respond. Dr. Becky Kennedy highlights that behaviors like spitting can be a child's way of expressing emotions, such as anger, in a tangible form. This act can symbolize a child's attempt to make their feelings visible and understood. 3

When I learned to do other things, I actually got more help.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

Dr. Becky encourages parents to engage children in problem-solving, fostering a sense of ownership over their actions. By approaching these behaviors with curiosity rather than authority, parents can help children find alternative ways to express their emotions. 4