My Kids Are Out of Control, What Should I Do?

Self-Regulation

Parents can use self-regulation techniques to maintain their calm and model emotional regulation for their children. Dr. Becky Kennedy emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, even when children react negatively. She explains, "I'm showing my child that I can differentiate between how he's struggling and how that struggle comes out in the behavior in the moment" 1. This approach helps parents stay calm during tantrums, reinforcing the idea that nothing is wrong with them or their child 2.

   

Parental Presence

Maintaining a strong parental presence during children's emotional outbursts is crucial for their regulation and connection. Dr. Becky advises parents to stay with their children during these moments, providing reassurance that they are safe and loved 3. She states, "Your presence and staying in the room says to your kid, these feelings that feel like they're attacking you and that fly out of your body and feel so terrifying are manageable" 4. This presence helps children understand that their feelings are not overwhelming or terrifying, fostering a sense of security.