Emily Oster on the Real Data Parents Need

Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is often portrayed as the ultimate parenting choice, yet the data suggests a more nuanced reality. Emily Oster highlights that while there are some benefits, such as better digestion and reduced gastrointestinal issues, the long-term advantages like higher IQ or obesity prevention are not strongly supported by evidence 1. She emphasizes the societal pressure to breastfeed, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy among mothers who struggle with it 2. Dr. Becky Kennedy adds that the narrative of breastfeeding as a singularly important act can overshadow the well-being of both mother and child:

Mothers feeling depleted, exhausted, resentful, shitty about themselves, is not good for a mom. It is not good for a baby.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

This discussion underscores the importance of considering personal circumstances and mental health in parenting decisions 3.

   

Motherhood Myths

Motherhood is often shrouded in myths of martyrdom and self-sacrifice, which Emily Oster argues are not supported by data. She notes that the pressure to adhere to strict parenting norms can lead to postpartum depression and anxiety, rather than improved parental functioning 4. Dr. Becky Kennedy reflects on the societal expectation for mothers to constantly sacrifice their own needs, suggesting that this mindset is deeply ingrained from pregnancy onwards 5. Oster points out that this narrative can make women feel that their worth as mothers is tied to their ability to self-sacrifice:

It's almost like, what makes us feel best as a newly pregnant person is I am starting my journey of self sacrifice right now, and this is what good moms do.

--- Emily Oster

This conversation challenges the notion that self-sacrifice is synonymous with good parenting, advocating for a more balanced approach 6.

   

Personal Choices

Personal decision-making in motherhood often involves defying societal norms and embracing individual choices. Emily Oster and Dr. Becky Kennedy discuss the importance of recognizing personal preferences as valid data in parenting decisions 7. Oster shares her own experiences with breastfeeding, emphasizing that personal comfort and choice should be prioritized over societal expectations 8. Kennedy echoes this sentiment, advocating for a framework where personal choices are respected and supported:

Good moms get epidurals and good moms don't get epidurals and good moms breastfeed and good moms don't breastfeed.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

This perspective encourages parents to make decisions that align with their own values and circumstances, rather than conforming to external pressures 9.