Published October 2023 on YouTube
Chris Voss: How to Succeed at Hard Conversations | Huberman Lab Podcast
Chapters
1. Chris Voss2. Sponsors: Plunge & ROKA3. Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness4. Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music5. Benevolent Negotiations6. Generosity7. Sponsor: AG18. High-Stakes Negotiations9. Uncovering Negotiation Patterns10. Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions11. Scaring for Money12. Sponsor: InsideTracker13. Defanging Aggressors14. Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”15. Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective Cues16. Effective Communication Insights17. Navigating Relationship Endings18. Ego Depletion Explained19. Readiness and Agility20. Effective Listening Strategies21. Physical Fitness, Self-Care22. Long Negotiations & Recharging23. Hostages, Humanization & Names24. Tactical Empathy, Compassion25. Tool: Mirroring Technique26. Tool: Proactive Listening27. Family Members & Negotiations28. Self Restoration, Humor29. Transformative Coaching30. “Sounds Like…” Perspective31. Actionable Insights1. Chris Voss
Chris Voss, former FBI agent and negotiation expert, shares invaluable insights on navigating challenging conversations. Learn how to manage emotions, detect deception, and achieve optimal outcomes in various aspects of life.+
2. Sponsors: Plunge & ROKA
Discover the numerous benefits of deliberate cold exposure for mental and physical health as Andrew shares his experience with Plunge, the versatile at-home cold plunge that makes it easy to incorporate this practice into your routine. Don't miss out on the opportunity to improve your well-being with deliberate cold exposure.+
3. Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness
Mastering Negotiation Mindset:Chris Voss shares insights on negotiation outcomes and discusses the mindset and tools needed for successful negotiations. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the real issues at hand and quickly determining if a deal is worth pursuing. Voss also highlights the value of listening and diagnosing the possibilities early on in negotiations.+
Playful Negotiation Wins:Chris shares personal negotiation wins by adopting a playful mindset, emphasizing that great negotiation doesn't have to be exciting but can lead to astonishing results. He recounts a story of losing his suitcase at the airport and how his playful approach led to an unexpected and exceptional resolution.+
4. Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music
Calming the Mind:Andrew and Chris discuss the importance of staying calm in tense situations, sharing insights on using a specific voice to calm both oneself and others. They explore the role of emotions and the power of shifting into a positive mindset.+
Sound and Emotion:Discover the fascinating connection between sound and emotion as Andrew Huberman explains how low frequency sounds can change the emotional tone of our brains, while high frequency sounds have a different effect. Learn how this knowledge can impact communication and negotiation strategies.+
5. Benevolent Negotiations
Benevolent Negotiations:Andrew and Chris discuss the concept of win-win negotiations and caution against blindly trusting those who claim to want a win-win outcome. They emphasize the importance of understanding the true intentions behind the phrase and highlight the need for both parties to feel good about the outcome in benevolent negotiations.+
Effective Communication Strategies:Chris Voss shares how actively listening and calibrating perspectives can lead to better communication and collaboration, ultimately resulting in a more successful outcome.+
Hypothesis Testing and Collaboration:Andrew and Chris discuss the importance of hypothesis testing in science and decision-making, highlighting the value of collaboration and learning from each other. They also touch on the use of catchphrases in negotiations and how they can signal lack of authenticity or trustworthiness.+
6. Generosity
Discover the power of establishing rapport through generosity and acts of kindness. Learn how giving without expecting anything in return can lead to long-term relationships and collaborations.+
7. Sponsor: AG1
Discover how AG One, a vitamin mineral probiotic drink, can help meet your foundational nutrition needs and provide essential vitamins, minerals, and adaptogens to enhance focus, energy, and sleep.+
8. High-Stakes Negotiations
High-Stakes Negotiations:Andrew Huberman and Chris Voss discuss the intense nature of high-stakes negotiations, sharing stories of near-disastrous situations and the lessons they learned from them.+
Collaborative Challenges:Chris Voss shares his experience dealing with a lack of collaboration from both the Philippine government and the bad guys during a hostage negotiation. He highlights the importance of effective communication and the consequences of internal team disarray.+
9. Uncovering Negotiation Patterns
Understanding Negotiation Patterns:Learn how to identify behavior patterns in negotiations and the importance of specificity in determining the seriousness of the other party's intentions. Chris Voss shares insights from his experience in kidnapping negotiations, highlighting the significance of recognizing patterns and the power of specificity in hostage situations.+
Ransom Negotiations:Chris Voss shares a harrowing experience of negotiating a ransom, highlighting the importance of assessing the seriousness of the threat and avoiding being double dipped. Andrew Huberman expands on the concept, discussing how people can protect themselves from being hacked and extorted online.+
Negotiating Leverage:Chris Voss shares insights on identifying the authenticity of threats, the importance of making the other side feel like they've earned what they got, and the role of leverage in negotiations.+
10. Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions
Urgency and Scams:Andrew and Chris discuss the red flags of urgency in requests for money or action, highlighting the tactics scammers use to exploit people's sense of urgency. They emphasize the importance of being cautious and share personal experiences to illustrate the need to verify such requests.+
Scams Unveiled:Chris and Andrew discuss real-life examples of scams, including a kidnapping hoax and a friend falling victim to a con. They share insights on how to check the source and ask legitimate questions to protect yourself from falling into these traps.+
11. Scaring for Money
Scaring People for Money:Andrew Huberman and Chris Voss discuss the legal profession and how lawyers scare people for money. They delve into the tactics used in lawsuits and the probing of someone's finances to determine liability. They also explore an example of how individuals can be manipulated into settling for exorbitant amounts.+
Judging Reactions:Chris Voss explains the importance of how and what questions in judging the other side's reaction during negotiations. By focusing on their response rather than the answer itself, one can gain valuable insights into the person they are dealing with. Voss also shares a tactic of wearing out aggressive adversaries by using passive-aggressive questioning techniques.+
12. Sponsor: InsideTracker
Discover how Inside Tracker's personalized nutrition platform uses data from blood tests to help you understand your body and achieve your health goals.+
13. Defanging Aggressors
Defanging the Aggressor:Andrew and Chris discuss the process of wearing down an aggressive individual and defanging their threats through strategic questioning and clarifying implementation details. Vision drives decision, and by getting the aggressor to talk about the alternative and their plans for compliance, their true intentions can be revealed.+
Human Nature Investment:Chris Voss shares insights on how to increase the chances of compliance in negotiations, emphasizing the importance of human nature investment and verbal commitments. He discusses strategies used in kidnapping cases, such as creating situations where it becomes inconvenient for the perpetrators to go back on their word.+
14. Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”
Trusting Your Gut:Andrew shares his personal experience of sensing something off about someone, highlighting the power of our bodily responses in detecting deception. Chris discusses the accuracy of our gut instincts and the science behind it, including olfactory cues and pheromones. Trusting our gut can provide valuable insights that our conscious mind may not be able to explain.+
Trusting Your Gut:Chris Voss and Andrew Huberman discuss the power of trusting your gut and the existence of energetic exchanges that neuroscience is still exploring. They delve into the idea that our gut is a powerful source of information and intuition, and how it can pick up on cues that our conscious mind may not be aware of. The conversation also touches on the intriguing concept of magneto reception in humans, suggesting that our nervous system may have capabilities that are yet to be fully understood.+
The Subconscious Supercomputer:Discover the fascinating phenomenon of heartbeat synchronization when people listen to the same story, and delve into the power of the subconscious as the true supercomputer of our minds. Join Andrew and Chris as they discuss the subconscious, mental health, and tapping into our inner wisdom.+
15. Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective Cues
Discover the importance of aligning verbal and nonverbal cues in negotiations as Chris Voss shares his insights on reading affective behavior and avoiding assumptions based on context.+
16. Effective Communication Insights
Effective Communication Tactics:Learn the importance of concise and focused communication in online and text interactions. Discover how to avoid misunderstandings and maintain a warm tone. Chris Voss shares his experience and offers valuable insights on effective communication strategies.+
Efficient Negotiation Strategies:Chris and Andrew discuss the importance of setting context in negotiations, emphasizing the value of direct and succinct communication to solve problems efficiently.+
17. Navigating Relationship Endings
Navigating Relationship Endings:Andrew and Chris discuss the process of ending relationships, whether they are romantic or professional. They explore the challenges of delivering bad news while considering feelings of rejection and the importance of being direct and honest.+
Efficient Termination Strategies:Chris Voss shares insights on the most efficient and humane ways to terminate relationships, whether it's firing an employee or delivering bad news. He emphasizes the importance of warning and delivering the news quickly, allowing individuals to brace themselves and move on sooner.+
18. Ego Depletion Explained
Ego Depletion and Decision Fatigue:Andrew and Chris discuss the concept of ego depletion, a phenomenon where defending one's position depletes energy and dopamine levels, leading to decreased goal-directed behavior. They explore the implications of ego depletion in decision-making and offer insights on managing fatigue and preserving cognitive resources.+
Ego Depletion and Business Deals:Chris Voss discusses the impact of ego depletion in long negotiations and how it can affect the outcome of a business deal. He explains the distinction between contained and uncontained hostage takings and the importance of considering the recharge of the ego in maintaining a successful agreement.+
19. Readiness and Agility
Readiness and Staying Loose:Andrew and Chris discuss the importance of being ready for unexpected negotiations and share strategies for staying mentally agile and prepared in high-stakes situations.+
Triggering State Change:Chris Voss shares his technique of triggering a state change in people by asking them what they love about their work. This simple question not only shifts their mood but also provides valuable insights into their true motivations and values. Andrew Huberman relates to the importance of curiosity in his own interactions, despite the need to conserve energy for podcasting.+
20. Effective Listening Strategies
Effective Listening Strategies:Andrew and Chris discuss the best approach to handling someone who wants to vent, emphasizing the importance of truly hearing them and understanding their emotions. Chris shares insights on how to identify the underlying causes of venting and offers strategies to help deescalate negative emotions.+
Effective Communication:Chris shares valuable insights on deactivating negativity in conversations and the importance of spirituality in our lives.+
21. Physical Fitness, Self-Care
Fitness and Regeneration:Andrew and Chris discuss Chris's journey with physical training, from his time with the FBI to his current fitness routine. They explore the importance of fitness in Chris's life and his ongoing search for new ways to stay in shape.+
The Power of Self Care:Andrew Huberman and Chris Voss discuss the importance of self care in maintaining mental well-being and maximizing work effectiveness. They debunk the misconception around self care and emphasize its role in refueling and showing up better for others.+
22. Long Negotiations & Recharging
Negotiation Mindset:Dive into the world of negotiation with Chris Voss as he shares his experiences and insights from his time in the FBI, including a long and intense hostage crisis in Washington, DC. Discover how a negotiation mindset can lead to successful outcomes and allow you to sleep soundly at night.+
Negotiating Under Pressure:Chris shares his experiences in negotiating during intense situations, highlighting the importance of staying calm and prepared. He recounts a famous siege in London and the crucial role of keeping the person on the line during a SWAT operation.+
23. Hostages, Humanization & Names
Hostage Situations:Andrew and Chris discuss a case from the late 80s where a youth gang took over an electronics store and held hostages. They delve into the mindset of both the captors and the captives, exploring the decision-making process in high-stress situations. The conversation highlights the importance of context and individual judgment in determining the best course of action in hostage scenarios.+
The Power of Names:Discover how the simple act of using someone's name can humanize them and increase the chances of survival, whether in hostage situations or animal research. Learn how names elevate relationships and tap into our empathy circuitry. Also, get a sneak peek into an upcoming documentary on tactical empathy.+
24. Tactical Empathy, Compassion
Understanding Empathy:Explore the multifaceted nature of empathy and its relationship to compassion in this thought-provoking conversation between Andrew and Chris. Gain insights from their discussion on the transmission of information and the importance of understanding perspectives without necessarily agreeing or feeling compassion.+
Unlimited Tactical Empathy:Chris Voss shares insights on the power of tactical empathy, backed by neuroscience and his experience as a hostage negotiator. By actively demonstrating understanding and calling out negative emotions, empathy becomes an unlimited skill that positively impacts interactions.+
25. Tool: Mirroring Technique
The Power of Mirroring:Learn how mirroring can be a simple yet highly effective tool in communication. Chris Voss explains how mirroring helps people feel heard, expands their thoughts, and enhances understanding. Discover the power of mirroring in improving communication skills.+
The Power of Hearing Your Own Voice:Andrew and Chris delve into the fascinating world of self-perception and how hearing our own voice can lead to new insights and understanding. They discuss the active neurochemical inhibition of our own voice, the fusion of cognition when hearing our own words spoken back to us, and the value of having a sounding board to hear ourselves out. Discover the intriguing ways our brains process and perceive our own voices.+
26. Tool: Proactive Listening
Proactive Listening:Andrew and Chris discuss the concept of proactive listening, emphasizing the importance of labeling emotions and the negative bias of the survival brain. They explore the neuroscience behind self-labeling and how it can diminish negative emotions.+
Proactive Emotional Management:Chris Voss shares insights on proactive emotional management, highlighting the power of calling out negativity in interactions and how it can inoculate against negative emotions. Andrew Huberman reflects on a personal experience and wonders if his graduate advisor had read Voss's book, emphasizing the importance of proactive communication in managing emotions.+
27. Family Members & Negotiations
Understanding Kidnappers:Dive into the complex psyche of kidnappers and explore the possibility of using different entry points to challenge their behavior. Chris Voss shares his experiences and insights on hostage situations and the role of family members in a contained situation.+
Healing Family Wounds:Discover the impact of family dynamics on mental health and how past wounds can affect present struggles. Gain insights into the importance of carefully orchestrated conversations with family members to promote healing and avoid exacerbating pain.+
28. Self Restoration, Humor
Andrew and Chris discuss the importance of finding ways to unload emotional baggage in order to maintain functionality and optimism in life, especially in high-stakes jobs. They emphasize the value of humor, genuine understanding, and good-natured ribbing in fostering healthy relationships and mental well-being.+
29. Transformative Coaching
Fireside Interactive Podcast:Join Chris Voss on Fireside, a brand new social media platform that combines the best ideas of existing apps. Experience weekly interactive group coaching sessions where you can ask questions and engage directly with Chris and other experts. Get ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level.+
Transformative Group Coaching:Discover the power of interactive group coaching as Chris Voss shares how his Fireside chats have not only helped people improve their communication skills but also saved marriages. With real-time feedback and personalized insights, this transformative coaching experience is an opportunity to connect with others facing similar challenges and learn from Chris's expertise.+
Building Rapport:Discover the power of building rapport in healthcare as Andrew and Chris discuss how patients are more likely to follow medical advice from doctors they can relate to, even on simple shared interests like sports or hobbies. Learn how this connection can make a difference in patient outcomes.+
30. “Sounds Like…” Perspective
Andrew and Chris discuss the power of using simple tools like the "sounds like" perspective to enhance communication and listening skills. They explore the idea of teaching kids to communicate from this perspective and the potential impact it could have on their interactions with others.+
31. Actionable Insights
Discover actionable insights from Chris Voss as he shares his expertise on negotiation strategies and effective communication. Gain valuable tips to apply in your personal and professional life.+