Published February 2023 on YouTube

792: Red Flags Making You Rethink Your Shrink | Feedback Friday

1. Introduction

Jordan and Gabriel answer listener questions on advice, while also discussing recent interviews with Florence Williams and Mark Manson. Plus, a new AI chatbot is launched to help listeners find specific topics discussed on the show.+

2. Identifying Toxic Therapists

Problematic Therapy:A listener shares their experience with a therapist who diagnosed them with various disorders and made inappropriate comments. After nine months of feeling worse after therapy, the listener discovered that their therapist was known for being narcissistic and making fun of her clients' mental health issues.+
Identifying Toxic Therapists:Gabriel shares his experience with a toxic therapist and asks for advice on how to identify early warning signs of a bad therapist. Jordan and Gabriel discuss the disturbing behavior of therapists who harm their patients and the importance of identifying toxic therapists before it's too late.+
Finding the Right Therapist:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the importance of finding the right therapist and not giving up on therapy entirely after a bad experience. They consult with Dr. Erin Margolis, who shares red flags to watch out for when seeking a therapist.+
Warning Signs:Jordan Harbinger discusses warning signs to look out for when seeing a therapist. He highlights both obvious and subtle red flags, and emphasizes the importance of feeling safe and comfortable with your therapist.+
Red Flags in Therapy:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the difference between appropriate and inappropriate discomfort in therapy, and how to identify red flags in a therapist-patient relationship. They explain that while misunderstandings can happen, if a therapist is shaming, minimizing, or invalidating your feelings, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.+
Red Flags:Gabriel and Jordan discuss how to identify red flags in therapy and the importance of open communication with your therapist. They provide examples of how to bring up concerns and how a therapist's response can indicate whether they are legit or not.+
Therapist Red Flags:Gabriel and Jordan discuss how warning signs can be subjective in therapy and how clients have the right to report therapists who do real harm to the ethics board. Dr. Margolis believes it's important for clients to feel empowered and to know their rights.+
Finding a Good Therapist:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to find a good therapist and what to do if you have a bad experience. They also mention the importance of ethics in therapy and how to report violations.+

3. Sponsors

Jordan and Jen Harbinger discuss the benefits of therapy and how it can empower your life. They also share their experience with Athletic Greens, an all-in-one nutritional insurance that provides 75 vitamins, minerals, and superfoods. Listeners can visit Better Help and Athletic Greens to get discounts on their products.+

4. Supporting Struggling Friends

Toxic Relationships:Frank's toxic behavior and severe childhood trauma have caused a tumultuous relationship with his ex-girlfriend. The hosts discuss how to help someone in this situation without getting back into a hurtful and toxic relationship.+
Helping a Depressed Friend:Jordan provides insights on how to help a friend who is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. He emphasizes the importance of being a good friend up to a point and encourages the friend to find the help they need for themselves.+
Helping a Friend:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to support a friend who is struggling with their mental health. They emphasize the importance of checking in on them regularly and encouraging them to seek therapy. They also suggest reaching out to the person's family and friends to keep them informed and involved in their care.+
Navigating Complicated Relationships:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the importance of setting boundaries and being aware of patterns in complicated relationships, using the example of Frank and his girlfriend. They emphasize the need to prioritize one's own well-being and not lose oneself in trying to prop up the other person.+
Life is a Gift:Gabriel and Jordan discuss how to help someone who is depressed realize that life is a gift. They emphasize the importance of engaging with life again, seeking help, and taking care of oneself. The only way to realize that life is a gift is to treat it like one and let it prove you right.+
Helping a Friend:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to help a friend who is struggling with mental health issues without losing yourself. Jordan shares his personal experience with therapy and how it helped him change his circumstances. They also provide practical advice on what to do if your friend is in serious danger.+

5. Funding Your Education

Asking for Educational Funding:Gabriel seeks advice on how to convince his company to fund his PhD program. Jordan suggests putting together a business case that shows how much more valuable Gabriel will be to the company as a result of his added knowledge and expertise.+
Pitching for a Doctorate:Jordan advises listeners to prepare for meetings with their superiors to pitch for a doctorate degree. He suggests filling them in on where you're heading, asking them questions, and working what you learn into your pitch. Jordan emphasizes the importance of expressing gratitude for their support and setting the tone before stating your case.+
Negotiating Tuition Reimbursement:Jordan shares tips on how to negotiate tuition reimbursement with your employer. He advises to focus on the benefits for the company, attach numbers to your proposal, and avoid making it too much about your personal goals. The goal is to get a yes or no and negotiate the details later.+

6. Sponsors

Staying Active at Home:Jordan shares how he stays active and healthy despite his busy schedule and responsibilities at home. He talks about the convenience of Peloton, a top-notch machine that offers classes taught by world-class instructors, and how it has helped him improve his cardiovascular health and build muscle without leaving his house.+
Peloton's Community Power:Jordan discusses the power of community in staying motivated and active with Peloton. The virtual high fives, friendly competition, and supportive environment make it an addicting and positive experience. Peloton Row offers a variety of classes for all levels and financing options.+

7. Fighting Meth Dealers

Meth Dealer Chaos:Gabriel shares a story about a friend who lives across the street from a duplex where a tenant has started dealing methamphetamine, causing chaos and danger in the neighborhood. Despite complaints to local agencies, no action has been taken, leading Gabriel to explore creative ways to hold the owner accountable.+
Legal Conundrum:Jordan and Gabriel discuss a legal conundrum involving drug activity and landlords. They speak with defense attorney Corbin Payne who suggests pursuing a civil lawsuit as a potential solution to the problem. However, this option is neither quick nor easy and involves hiring an attorney.+
Fighting Meth Dealers:Jordan and Gabriel discuss two options for fighting meth dealers in your apartment building: lawsuits and publicity. They emphasize the importance of documentation and sticking to verifiable facts if you choose the latter.+
Meth Dealer Solutions:Jordan and Gabriel discuss various solutions for dealing with a meth dealer in your neighborhood, including gathering evidence with Nest cams and even taking matters into your own hands by creating fake advertisements to alert authorities.+

8. Dealing with Disappointing Friends

Dealing with Unsupportive Friends:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the disappointment of losing a friend during a cancer diagnosis. They agree that it's not unreasonable to expect support from friends during difficult times.+
Friendship and Support:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the importance of healthy conflicts in friendships and the clarity that crises can bring. They emphasize that the way friends respond to a crisis speaks more about them than the person going through the crisis, and that it's okay to let go of friendships that don't meet our expectations. They encourage listeners to focus on the positive support they have and to be grateful for it.+

9. Outro

Jordan shares his free course on networking habits and emphasizes the importance of building relationships before you need them. He also encourages listeners to apply what they learn and shares links to show notes, deals, and discounts.+