Published March 2021 on Spotfiy

487: Connect with Cult Father, or Don't Even Bother? | Feedback Friday

1. Introduction

Jordan and Gabriel answer listener questions on Feedback Friday, Leah shares her escape from the Church of Scientology, and Nina discusses the implications of deepfakes on humanity.+

2. Deepfakes and Ancestry

Deepfakes and Ancestry:Gabriel and Jordan discuss the new AI technology called Deep Nostalgia that animates old family photos and the potential implications of deepfakes. They also talk about how it's a unique way to connect with long-gone family members.+
Deepfakes and Morning Routines:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the potential of deepfake technology to animate old family photos and the impact it could have on our understanding of our ancestors. Jordan also shares his thoughts on morning routines and how they may not be as effective as we think. Listeners are invited to send in their questions for Feedback Friday.+

3. Boundaries and Family

Shunned But Unashamed:Gabriel shares her experience growing up in a cult-like environment with extreme patriarchy and how it affected her relationship with her father. She seeks advice on how to navigate communication with him now and encourage a healthy relationship while standing firm in her convictions.+
Escaping a Cult:Jordan speaks with a guest who escaped a cult-like organization run by their family. They discuss the prevalence of such groups and the difficulty of leaving them. Jordan commends the guest for their courage and individuality, while acknowledging the challenges of healing and rebuilding relationships after leaving a cult.+
Communicating with Family:Jordan advises on how to communicate with family members who are deeply entrenched in a cult. He suggests acknowledging that you might not be able to have a completely open relationship with them and emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries to protect yourself.+
Setting Boundaries:Jordan provides insights on how to set boundaries with family members who don't support your choices. He emphasizes the importance of separating your own experience from theirs and developing good outer boundaries. He also suggests seeking support from friends or counselors to help undo old programming and stay firm in your conviction.+
Setting Boundaries:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to set boundaries with family members who don't respect your decisions. They suggest drawing boundaries out loud and finding a mediator to facilitate a conversation with family members who are willing to have that chat. It's important to remember that you have the right to feel however you feel, and it's okay if not everyone agrees with you.+
Family Mediation:Gabriel and Jordan discuss the challenges of finding a neutral mediator for a family therapy session with a member of a cult. They also discuss the importance of focusing on building a happy life outside of the group, which may eventually convince family members to accept a new way of life.+
Leaving a Coercive Group:Jordan and Gabriel offer advice to a listener who left a coercive group and is struggling to maintain a relationship with her family. They discuss the importance of being a positive example for others, recommend resources for leaving cults, and encourage the listener to focus on building a fulfilling life.+

4. Sponsors

Jordan and Jen discuss the benefits of Leaky Gut Guardian and how it can help with gut health. They also talk about the importance of protecting your identity online with LifeLock.+

5. Coping with Job Inspection Stress

Job Inspection Stress:Gabriel, a pharmacist, seeks advice from Jordan and Gabe about his job inspection that happened a year ago. He feels stressed and anxious about the situation, especially with his wife's reaction. Jordan and Gabe provide insights and support to help him cope with the situation.+
Understanding Spousal Reactions:Jordan helps a listener understand why his wife is reacting the way she is to his work situation. He explains that her anger is rooted in fear and a sense of helplessness. While her reactions are justified to a point, projecting anxieties and fears onto her partner is not a healthy way to process them.+
Managing emotions:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to manage emotions in a difficult situation. They offer advice on how to communicate with a partner who is projecting their emotions onto you and how to work together to find solutions.+
Deeper Relationship Issues:Jordan and Gabe discuss how deeper relationship issues might be at play in Gabe's wife's reaction to a pharmacy inspection. They encourage Gabe to communicate openly with his wife and to examine other parts of his life to ensure that this mistake isn't part of a larger pattern.+

6. Career Decision Making

Stuck in Legacy:Gabriel shares his experience of being stuck in a job that is not fulfilling and how it is affecting his career growth. He seeks advice on whether he should continue with the job or take a risk and switch to a role that aligns with his interests and allows him to learn the latest technologies.+
Career Decision Making:Jordan advises listeners to get clear on what matters most to them when making career decisions, and to rank the different factors in order of importance. He suggests talking to trusted friends, family, mentors, or colleagues to gain perspective and figure out which trade-offs are worth making.+
Career Decision Making:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the tough decisions that come with career choices and offer advice on how to make the right decision for yourself. They suggest asking yourself what matters most to you, exploring other parts of your job, and considering the long-term benefits of taking a lower paying job that excites you.+
Creating Opportunities:Gabriel and Jordan discuss how to create opportunities within your current job by being deliberate about contributing in ways beyond your job description. They suggest building relationships with other teams and not relying solely on your company to meet all of your needs. Instead, invest in yourself by pursuing certifications, side projects, and writing articles to share with colleagues and IT managers at other companies. By doing so, you may end up finding that your current job is actually subsidizing your education and professional development.+
Building a Career:Jordan shares his insights on building a successful career. He emphasizes the importance of being grateful for current opportunities while seeking out new experiences and growth. He also encourages being open to other opportunities if necessary.+

7. Sponsors

Website Building and Financial Management:Jordan shares two important sponsors in this chapter. HostGator, a website builder, and Truebill, a financial management app. He emphasizes the importance of having a website for businesses and how HostGator can help with building one. He also talks about Truebill's ability to help manage finances, cancel subscriptions, and identify fraud.+
Take Control of Your Mental Health:Jordan discusses the importance of therapy for maintaining mental health and how successful individuals rely on it to stay sane. He emphasizes that therapy is a great place to learn about oneself, set goals, and understand how past experiences impact current decisions.+
Therapy Benefits:Jordan discusses how therapy is beneficial for anyone experiencing stress, intense emotions, or life transitions. He emphasizes that therapy is not just for those with mental illness and that seeking help for emotional problems takes a lot of strength. Jordan recommends Better Help online counseling as an easy and accessible option to take charge of one's mental health.+

8. Improve Podcast Listening

Retaining Information:Gabriel shares his struggle with retaining information despite consuming a lot of content. Jordan suggests changing the way of engaging with content and seeking professional help if necessary. Worksheets for every episode are available on the website.+
Improve Podcast Listening:Jordan recommends breaking podcasts into 10-15 minute chunks, actively processing what you're learning, and jotting down bullet points afterwards. He also suggests sharing what you've learned with others.+

9. Outro

Improving Attention Span:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to improve your attention span and retention by engaging with the information you consume and making it meaningful for yourself and others. They also suggest taking breaks and changing your relationship with the content you consume.+
Taking a Break:Jordan emphasizes the importance of taking a break from constant learning and self-improvement. He shares that sometimes it's necessary to just let go and enjoy stories without feeling the need to apply them to our lives. Taking a break can help us retain information better and make our learning more meaningful.+