Published September 2021 on Spotfiy
562: Old Ex-Con Mister Eloped with My Young Sister | Feedback Friday
1. Introduction
Jordan and Gabriel give advice to listeners on Feedback Friday. Jordan recommends online fitness training and shares his personal experience with it. He also shares his latest blog post on why hustle culture makes you miserable.+
2. Negotiation Insights
Negotiation Insights:Jordan and Alex share their insights on negotiating job offers, including when to ask for meetings with higher-ups and how to approach building relationships within a new company. They caution against being too presumptuous and emphasize the importance of context in negotiations.+
Negotiating Unorthodox Requests:Jordan discusses the importance of negotiating unorthodox requests in the workplace, emphasizing the need to consider context and relevant variables. He advises listeners to avoid coming across as a "weirdo" when making requests, especially when new to a company.+
3. Family Betrayal and Complicated Romance
Family Betrayal:Gabriel shares his family's experience of visiting a wrongfully convicted man in prison, who later seduced his sister after he was released. They discuss the aftermath of the situation and the family's concerns for their sister's safety.+
Complicated Romance:Jordan and Gabe discuss a letter from a listener whose sister is dating a 62-year-old ex-con who previously went to prison for statutory rape. They explore the complexities of the situation, including the significant age difference and the potential danger posed by the man's past actions.+
Accepting Unconventional Relationships:Jordan discusses the complexities of a situation where a 23-year-old sister marries a 62-year-old convicted sex offender. While the age gap is concerning, there is no law being broken. Jordan emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the sister's agency and the need to accept the situation, even if it is not condoned.+
Supporting a Vulnerable Sister:Jordan advises a listener on how to support their sister who is in a dangerous relationship. He emphasizes the importance of keeping an open line of communication, building trust, and asking non-threatening questions to make the sister feel safe confiding in them. Jordan also highlights the potential danger if the sister and her partner have children and suggests being available to help if and when the sister is ready to leave the relationship.+
Coping with Guilt:Gabriel and Jordan discuss the guilt that comes with feeling responsible for a loved one's actions. They advise focusing on the relationship with the loved one and exploring one's own sense of responsibility.+
Supporting a Family Member:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the difficulties of supporting a family member's decision to stay with a potentially dangerous partner. They offer advice on respecting autonomy while also being prepared for potential consequences, such as parole violations.+
4. Sponsors
Jordan Harbinger shares his experience with chilisleep's customizable climate controlled sleep solutions that have helped him and listeners get a better night's sleep. The chiliPAD and Ooler use water to control the temperature of your bed and lower your core body temperature, which triggers deep restorative sleep.+
5. Wedding Safety Dilemma
Wedding Safety Concerns:Gabriel is concerned about the safety of attending her childhood friend's wedding due to the ongoing pandemic and the bride-to-be's lack of concern for safety measures. Jordan empathizes with Gabriel's situation and discusses the importance of taking precautions to protect vulnerable guests.+
Wedding Dilemma:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the dilemma of attending a friend's wedding during the pandemic. They weigh the risks and benefits of attending while vaccinated and offer advice on how to navigate the situation.+
Wedding Safety:Gabriel advises a listener on how to talk to her friend about the risks of having a wedding with zero precautions during the pandemic. He suggests collaborating with the friend to find simple ways to reduce the risk, such as holding the wedding outside, handing out masks, or providing hand sanitizer. However, he also acknowledges that convincing everyone to take the pandemic seriously may be a tall order.+
Attending a Super Spreader:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the dilemma of attending a friend's wedding during the pandemic, when the friend is not taking COVID-19 seriously. They suggest ways to minimize the risk and maintain the friendship, while acknowledging that we live in a world of probabilities and personal choices.+
Juggling Responsibilities:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the challenges of balancing responsibilities, as a stay-at-home mom and a full-time student. They offer advice on how to communicate boundaries with a partner who doesn't understand the demands of being a student and a parent.+
Setting Boundaries:Jordan advises a listener on how to set healthy boundaries with her husband who calls her during work hours. He suggests expressing the need to focus on work and responsibilities without making the spouse feel unloved or unimportant. Jordan also addresses the importance of respecting each other's time and avoiding codependency in relationships.+
Managing Boundaries:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and how to communicate effectively to maintain them. They suggest exploring underlying issues and finding fair agreements to manage stress and prioritize important tasks.+
6. Sponsors
Jordan and Jen Harbinger tackle listener feedback and offer advice on topics ranging from dealing with difficult people to managing anxiety. They also discuss the benefits of online therapy and share a testimonial from a satisfied Better Help user.+
7. Recovery and Collaboration
Recovering from Brain Injury:Jordan and Gabriel discuss a listener's question about her daughter's slow recovery from a brain injury. While they can't offer medical advice, they offer general thoughts and encouragement for the slow road to recovery.+
Supporting TBI Recovery:Jordan provides advice on how to support a loved one with a traumatic brain injury (TBI). He emphasizes the importance of empathy and patience, while also encouraging progress and avoiding victim mentality. He also reminds listeners that recovery may not be linear and requires daily commitment to incremental progress.+
College Application Success:Gabriel and Jordan discuss how to help a daughter succeed in college applications by breaking the process into small steps and providing motivation. They also recommend finding a therapist to help with the emotional challenges of recovery.+
Starting a Wedding Business:Jordan and Gabe give advice to a wedding coordinator who wants to start her own business. They discuss how to ask for advice from a competitor and highlight the importance of focusing on building a unique brand and providing exceptional service.+
Asking for Help:Jordan advises a listener on how to approach a successful competitor for advice and learning opportunities, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging the potential competition and focusing on building a relationship rather than asking for concrete favors.+
Collaborative Relationships:Jordan shares insights on how to transform competitive relationships into collaborative ones by being generous to your network and other people. By focusing on somebody else's needs, somebody who seems like your opposition can quickly become your peer, your partner, your colleague, your friend, your mentor, whatever it is.+
8. Outro
Jordan gives advice on how to build a network and mentions his free Six Minute Networking course. He also reminds listeners to share the show with others who can benefit from the advice given.+