Published July 2021 on Spotfiy

535: Should Siblings Unite to Confront Abusive Parents? | Feedback Friday

1. Introduction

Jordan Harbinger and Gabriel Mizrahi give practical advice to listeners on Feedback Friday. They answer listener questions and turn the wisdom of fascinating people into practical advice that can be applied to everyday life.+

2. The Greatest Hoax

Jordan and Gabe discuss an investigative journalist's book that claims Frank Abagnale Jr.'s story of being a con man who pretended to be a pilot, a doctor, and a lawyer might be mostly embellished or fabricated. They reflect on the importance of critical thinking and the possibility of being conned by Abagnale himself.+

3. Childhood Trauma Healing

Overcoming Traumatic Childhood:Gabriel shares her experience of growing up in a traumatic environment and how it affected her relationship with her siblings. She talks about the difficulties in confronting her parents and the importance of working through the trauma to reconnect with her siblings.+
Confronting Abusive Parents:Gabriel shares his story of growing up with abusive parents and his desire for closure. Jordan and Gabriel discuss the complexities of confronting abusive parents, including the importance of acknowledging the abuse and the potential for denial and defensiveness from the abusers.+
Processing Childhood Trauma:Jordan and Dr. Margolis discuss the difficulty of acknowledging and processing childhood trauma. Children often struggle to hold space for the pain of being hurt by their parents, but it's important to fully acknowledge what happened before moving towards empathy and acceptance. Processing feelings of grief, sadness, and anger is healthy and necessary for healing.+
Owning Your Feelings:Gabriel and Dr. Margolis advise a listener to own and process their feelings for closure instead of confronting their parents and expecting an apology. The outcome should be about the listener's experience and not their parents' response.+
Finding Closure:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the importance of finding closure after experiencing childhood trauma. They emphasize the need to fully own and process your emotions, and suggest healthy ways to do so such as therapy and support groups. They also suggest talking to siblings as a way to process and make sense of shared experiences.+
Finding Closure:Gabriel and Jordan discuss how to find closure and healing within oneself when faced with difficult family dynamics and the challenge of confronting parents who have caused significant wounds. They offer advice on how to navigate these situations and find support from siblings and therapy.+

4. Sponsors

Jordan and Jen Harbinger talk about the benefits of online therapy and how it can help people who are feeling emotionally out of sorts during the pandemic. They also discuss Brand Crowd, an online logo maker tool that can help businesses create custom logos in seconds.+

5. Honoring Lost Loved Ones

Honoring Lost Loved Ones:Jordan and Gabriel discuss ways to honor lost loved ones during a wedding. They draw insights from the book "Grief Day By Day" by Jan Warner and offer a perspective on how to process grief and celebrate love at the same time.+
Honoring Lost Loved Ones:Jan offers exercises to help cope with the loss of loved ones on your wedding day, including finding ways to honor them through special traditions or rituals and reflecting on gratitude for the time spent with them.+
Keeping Loved Ones Alive:Gabriel and Jordan discuss the importance of keeping loved ones alive through stories and traditions, even after they have passed away. They share their experiences with different funeral rituals and how telling stories can be a powerful way to honor and remember those who have played a special role in our lives.+
Emotional Exercises:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the importance of emotional exercises like gratitude and grief, and how they can help manage emotions during difficult times. They also recommend a book called Grief Day By Day by Jan Warner.+

6. Managing Difficult Employees

Managing Difficult Employees:Jordan and Gabriel discuss a listener's dilemma of managing a difficult employee who is rarely present, throws temper tantrums, and has poor performance. They offer insights on how to handle such employees and discuss the importance of leadership in managing difficult situations.+
Managing Difficult Colleagues:Jordan offers advice on how to approach a colleague who is behaving unprofessionally. He suggests having a conversation as a friend rather than a boss, validating their feelings, and working together to come up with a plan for improvement. Effective communication and conflict resolution are key to managing difficult colleagues.+
Managing Difficult Employees:Jordan and Gabriel discuss three options for dealing with a difficult employee: confront them, put up with them, or shift their responsibilities. They also suggest finding a replacement and grooming them for a seamless transition. The hosts emphasize the importance of focusing on more important matters and finding a silver lining in every situation.+

7. Sponsors

Jordan and Jen discuss the importance of protecting your identity online and offer solutions such as LifeLock to detect potential identity threats. They also remind listeners to be mindful of online scams and to avoid giving away information on suspect websites.+

8. Custody Dilemmas

Custody Agreement Dilemma:Gabriel seeks advice on how to convince his dad and stepmom to let him live with his biological mother due to his stepmom's verbal abuse. Jordan provides insights on how custody agreements work and suggests that Gabriel's dad may be flexible.+
Living Arrangements:Jordan advises a listener on how to approach their dad and stepmom about wanting to live with their mom. He suggests being kind and patient, framing the conversation as wanting to spend more time with both parents, and coordinating with the mom to reassure the dad that she's not trying to take the daughter away.+
Family Custody Struggles:Gabriel and Jordan give advice to a teenager struggling with custody issues and a difficult stepmom. They suggest finding a diplomatic approach with the parents, staying close with the brother, and standing up for oneself if necessary.+

9. Balancing Work and School

Balancing Work and School:Jordan advises Serving Two Masters to not bring up his master's degree any sooner than he has to and to wait and see how things play out before approaching his employer about his internship requirements.+
Flexible Work Schedule:Jordan advises a listener on how to ask for a flexible work schedule to accommodate their graduate school internship. He emphasizes the importance of networking within the company and building strong relationships with bosses and colleagues. Jordan suggests laying the groundwork by meeting sales targets and proving oneself as a valuable employee before making the request.+

10. Outro

Jordan Harbinger gives updates on recent episodes, where to find show notes and transcripts, and how to connect with him and his team on social media. He also promotes the Adam Carolla Show as a podcast recommendation for listeners.+