Published February 2023 on YouTube

788: His Love Is Bona Fide, Not a Mail-Order Bride | Feedback Friday

1. Introduction

Jordan and Gabriel answer listener questions on Feedback Friday, while the rest of the week they have long-form interviews with fascinating people, from spies to CEOs, athletes, authors, thinkers, and performers. Mitch Lowe, the co-founder of Netflix, was one of their recent guests, where he shared insights on his colorful past, including smuggling things into and out of the former Eastern Bloc and pirating movies.+

2. Love and Fear

Love Across Borders:A listener writes in asking for advice on how to navigate the stigma of dating someone from a different country. Jordan and Gabriel discuss the challenges and rewards of long-distance relationships and how to navigate cultural differences in a relationship.+
Love and Judgment:Jordan advises a caller to not let hypothetical judgments from others get in the way of his relationship with a woman he loves. He reminds the caller that assumptions and stereotypes are not always true and that people's opinions can change once they get to know the couple.+
Overcoming Other People's Opinions:Jordan and Gabriel advise a listener who is hesitant to marry his girlfriend from the Philippines due to the potential negative opinions of others. They emphasize the importance of focusing on the relationship and not letting others' perceptions control one's decisions.+
Overthinking Relationships:Jordan and Gabriel discuss a listener's fear of being judged for dating a foreign partner and how he may be projecting his own judgments onto others. They explore the source of his fears and how resolving his internal conflict could alleviate his anxiety.+
Overcoming Fear:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how fear can affect relationships and how to overcome it. They encourage listeners to focus on their own values and feelings, rather than worrying about other people's opinions. Jordan shares his own experience of facing criticism when he chose to pursue podcasting instead of law.+

3. Sponsors

Gabriel shares his tips for sticking to a fitness routine, emphasizing the importance of consistency and finding a sustainable routine. He recommends Peloton for its variety of classes and 24/7 availability.+

4. Preparing for Parenthood

Preparing for Parenthood:Jordan advises a couple on how to prepare for their first child while dealing with anxiety. He recommends focusing on what seems most helpful at the time, rather than trying to learn everything at once.+
Parenting Resources:Jordan shares his experience with finding good parenting resources and emphasizes the importance of using your instincts and applying your standards when choosing which resources to follow. He also warns against following random influencers and instead recommends looking for larger sample sizes and credible sources.+
Parenting Philosophy:Jordan shares his insights on parenting, emphasizing that it's a process that requires improvisation and intuition. He advises against buying everything and getting too geared up, as most of the stuff they tell you to buy is not very useful. Jordan also suggests not trying to become a parenting expert before your child pops out, as it's just feeding your anxiety.+
Infant CPR and Parental Anxiety:Jordan shares practical tips for new parents, including taking an infant CPR class and having emergency contacts readily available. He also discusses the importance of managing parental anxiety and how it can impact children's development.+
Zen Parenting:Jordan shares his insights on how to be a present and mindful parent, while dealing with the anxieties that come with it. He emphasizes the importance of creating a positive and safe environment for children to grow and learn, and reminds listeners to not let their worries consume them.+

5. Lease Dispute Advice

Landlord's Ex-Wife Drama:The Tremulous Tenants are caught up in their landlord's drama with his ex-wife. The landlord rented out their unit earlier than promised and wants to rewrite the lease to make it look like he waited four months. Jordan and Gabriel discuss the situation and wonder why the landlord thinks this will work.+
Lease Dispute:Jordan and Corbin discuss the potential risks of a lease dispute with a landlord's ex-wife and offer advice on how to handle the situation. They recommend being polite and friendly with the ex-wife, but also assert that she has no right to see the lease unless her name is on it. They also suggest researching tenant rights and contacting an attorney if necessary.+

6. Sponsors

Peloton's Convenience Factor:Jordan discusses how Peloton's convenience factor has helped him and his family become more active and healthy. He praises the quality of Peloton's machines and the world-class instructors who teach their classes. Jordan also mentions the power of community that Peloton provides.+
Peloton Online Community:Jordan shares his experience with the Peloton online community, highlighting its motivational features and pandemic-friendly virtual high fives. He also emphasizes the supportive nature of the community and how it can help keep individuals active and healthy.+

7. Supporting Friends in Need

Dealing with a Liar:Gabriel and Jordan discuss a letter from a listener who married a pathological liar and cheater, and how it affected her confidence and memories. They share humorous insights on the ridiculousness of the lies and cover-ups.+
Supporting a Friend:Making Space for the Gal in My Place seeks advice on how to help her ex's girlfriend who is being gaslit and abused. Gabriel and Jordan discuss the importance of supporting victims of domestic abuse and ways to offer help without overstepping boundaries.+
Ex's Girlfriend Conundrum:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the dilemma of wanting to help an ex's girlfriend while also protecting the interests of oneself and their children. They reflect on the manipulation and gaslighting tactics of toxic partners and commend the guest for seeking therapy and finding the strength to leave.+
Helping a Friend:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to be a good friend to someone in an abusive relationship without overstepping boundaries. They emphasize the importance of letting the person come to their own conclusions and being receptive to help, while also being aware of the signs of physical abuse and taking action if necessary. They also mention a previous episode that covers how to safely leave an abusive relationship.+
Helping a Friend:Jordan and Gabriel discuss how to approach helping a friend who might be in an abusive relationship. They emphasize the importance of validating her feelings, giving her space to open up, and respecting her boundaries. They also discuss the ethical responsibility of prioritizing the friend's safety over their own interests.+
Co-Parenting Boundaries:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the importance of respecting boundaries in co-parenting and ensuring the safety and well-being of children involved. They advise the listener to communicate with their ex-partner and children regularly to maintain healthy relationships and intervene if necessary.+

8. China's Influence Abroad

China's Immigrants:Jordan and Gabriel discuss the loyalty of Chinese immigrants to the CCP and whether they could help bring down the regime. They bring in Matthew Tye, who has met Chinese people all across the spectrum, and shares that the vast majority of Chinese immigrants he's met are largely apathetic about the whole system, which mirrors the general sentiment in China.+
Chinese Government Influence:Laowhy shares his experience with the Chinese diaspora and how the government's influence affects them. The Chinese Communist Party's reach extends to other countries, with over a hundred Chinese police stations operating abroad. Unless Western countries take action to weed out this influence, Chinese communities abroad will continue to feel unsafe speaking out against the regime.+
China's Declining Birth Rate:Jordan and Laowhy discuss the implications of China's declining birth rate on their economy and how the government is trying to compensate for it. They also touch on China's false figures and how their authoritarian regime helps them hide the effects of their policies.+

9. Outro

Jordan Harbinger plans to do a whole show about China's demographic collapse and its impact on the country, including the social credit score system. He also mentions a two-part interview with Laowhy86 on the topic, and a China playlist available on his website.+