Published Apr 17, 2023

#891 After Dark: Survivors Guilt

Scott Benner hosts a poignant discussion with Ashton, who reveals her journey of overcoming addiction and living with type 1 diabetes while grappling with survivor's guilt. She candidly explores the emotional intricacies of setting boundaries with family members still ensnared by addiction and the resilience required to balance her health and familial relationships.
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Episode Highlights

  • Emotional Toll

    Ashton shares the emotional toll of supporting family members in crisis, likening it to an unending cycle of resource drain. She describes how her brother-in-law frequently seeks emotional and financial support, creating a perpetual burden on her and her family. highlights the dilemma of becoming part of their "hunting and gathering process," where the need for help never ceases 1.

    You're basically recharging them. You have resources, and whether those resources are in your head or in your pocket, these people are black holes that you can't fill them.

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    Ashton reflects on her feelings of helplessness and guilt, stemming from her past experiences with addiction and her inability to change her loved ones' situations 2.

       

    Reflecting

    Reflecting on her past, Ashton contemplates how her life might have been different had she made other choices. She acknowledges the support of her family, which has been crucial in her journey away from addiction. suggests that a fresh start might have altered her path, but Ashton feels tied to her family and the responsibility of checking on her troubled relatives 3.

    If I would have moved probably ten years ago, that would have been perfect. But now, at this point, if I were far away from the two boys, I don't know, I think I would just constantly be wondering where they are and what they're doing.

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    She also reflects on how her past experiences with substance use influence her perception of her family's struggles, recognizing that her proximity to these issues may cloud her judgment 4.

       

    Diabetes Management

    Amidst the stress of family issues, Ashton faces challenges in managing her diabetes, particularly with insulin timing. She describes how stress and daily responsibilities lead to inconsistent insulin administration, causing fluctuations in her blood sugar levels. and Ashton discuss the impact of these inconsistencies, noting that her blood sugar often spikes and drops unpredictably 5.

    My timing of my insulin is way off right now, and that's where the bouncing around is coming from.

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    Ashton reflects on how her diabetes management was more stable during pregnancy, highlighting the additional challenges she faces now 6.

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