291 - Attachment Theory and Polyamory

Trauma Dynamics

Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist and trauma specialist, explains how trauma intricately intertwines with attachment theory. She highlights that attachment styles often stem from both significant and subtle traumas, which she terms as "capital T" and "lowercase t" traumas. These traumas can manifest as adaptations to unmet biological, emotional, and psychological needs, leading to various attachment styles 1. Fern emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing these underlying traumas to foster healthier relationships 2.

   

Invisible Trauma

Invisible trauma, often overlooked, can significantly impact adult attachment styles. Fern describes this as the "invisible trauma of the middle class," where material needs are met, but emotional connections are lacking 1. This lack of emotional warmth and connection can lead to attachment issues later in life. Fern also discusses how people might rely on relationship structures for security rather than genuine connection, highlighting the need for awareness and intentionality in forming secure attachments 3.