265 - Real Voices of Multiamory

Hierarchy

Hierarchical thinking in relationships often persists even among those practicing polyamory. Jase Lindgren notes that many people still operate under a hierarchical structure, especially when there are shared responsibilities like children or living arrangements. However, he emphasizes the importance of questioning these dynamics to avoid treating partners as disposable 1.

Once I decided I didn't care if people decided that I wasn't worth their time, it saved me a lot of wasted effort trying to do the whole emotional vulnerability thing with someone that doesn't appreciate it.

--- Jase Lindgren

Jase shares his personal journey of moving away from hierarchical structures, highlighting the need for clear communication and mutual understanding in relationships 2.

   

Anarchy

Embracing relationship anarchy offers a flexible approach to connections, allowing individuals to redefine relationship norms. Jase describes how relationship anarchy further opened his mind beyond polyamory, enabling him to form more individualized connections 3. He shares that his journey into relationship anarchy was not intentional at first but evolved naturally as he explored different relationship structures.

If my brain was, like, this far broken open by the concepts of polyamory, that relationship anarchy took it the rest of the way.

--- Jase Lindgren

This approach challenges traditional ideas of monogamy and hierarchy, encouraging a more personalized and less structured way of relating to others 4.