How to Effectively and Confidently Stand Up For Yourself with Emilie Aries

Assertiveness Defined

Emilie Aries explores the nuanced differences between assertiveness and aggressiveness, emphasizing the importance of respecting others' rights while expressing one's own needs. She highlights how assertiveness involves clear communication and consideration for others, whereas aggressiveness disregards others' perspectives. Aries shares her personal experiences of being mislabeled as aggressive, particularly as a woman and person of color, and stresses the need for assertive communication as a leadership skill 1.

Speak up for yourself. Speak up, but leave the door open for others.

--- Emilie Aries

Kwame Christian and Aries also discuss the impact of bias on perceptions of assertiveness, noting that women often face a double bind where assertiveness can lead to being perceived as less likable 2.

   

Hidden Benefits

The conversation shifts to the hidden benefits of assertiveness, where Emilie Aries dispels the myth that assertiveness is inherently stressful. She argues that the real stress comes from feeling unheard and being unable to stand up for oneself, which can lead to chronic anxiety and burnout 3.

It is those folks who feel like they can never be assertive that feel the most anxiety.

--- Emilie Aries

Aries also advises leading with intent in communication to disarm potential defensiveness, suggesting that explaining the reasons behind assertive requests can prevent misunderstandings and reduce stress for both parties 4.