Why do narcissists fear abandonment?

Narcissists fear abandonment due to their deep-seated insecurities and issues around attachment. Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that to narcissists, abandonment signifies a loss of control—the control of the narrative and the person—which directly confronts their need for dominance and validation. They fear being abandoned because it amplifies their insecurities, pushing them to quickly establish and overcontrol relationships to mitigate this fear. Additionally, if a narcissist is the one being abandoned, they may react with intense and even destructive behaviors, trying to sabotage the other person's subsequent relationships and reputation, in a phenomenon known as post-separation abuse 1.