how to emotionally regulate as an adult

Emotional regulation as an adult can be approached through various concrete and mindful techniques:

1. Curiosity: Developing a curiosity about oneself, understanding how emotions arise in response to situations like a child's whining or other triggers. This involves shifting from reactivity to grounded responses 1.

2. Parenting Patterns: Recognizing how coping mechanisms from early years set the stage for adult emotional regulation. Becky Kennedy recommends concrete affirmation lines that help connect with feelings, like acknowledging your discomfort when faced with problems 2.

3. Biofeedback and Neuroplasticity: Emotional regulation can be improved through techniques like biofeedback and increasing neuroplasticity. By recognizing and acting on triggers, adults can learn how to turn off their emotional reactions and reach a state of focus 3.

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     1

     Emotion Regulation Journey

     00:44:35
     
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     2

     Coping with Disappointment

     00:29:04
     
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     3

     Emotional Regulation, Biofeedback

     00:23:13
     
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     4

     Emotional Regulation Matters

     00:16:14
     
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     5

     Emotional Regulation Struggles

     00:08:34
     
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     6

     Emotional Debt

     00:40:28
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     7

     Regulating Emotions

     02:08:15
     

4. Self-Leadership: Appropriate handling of emotions in adults can also stem from effective self-leadership and self-healing, which involves learning to navigate through various emotions and managing them effectively instead of avoiding or running away 4.

5. Emotional Recognition and Regulation Skills: Acknowledging the role parental influence has on emotional regulation capabilities, and the importance of learning these skills as adults, especially before entering relationships 5.

6. Somatic Therapy: Jonny Miller recommends practices of self-regulation and 'emotion fluidity,' which involves creating conditions to welcome the full spectrum of emotions as they arise, often with guided somatic practitioners 6.

7. Improving Coping Skills with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Peter Attia mentions a skills book from DBT that outlines components affecting emotional regulation, such as biology, lack of skill, emotional overload, and emotional myths. DBT can be a structured way to learn coping skills for overcoming emotional dysregulation 7.

Understanding and applying these techniques can assist adults in better managing emotional responses and fostering greater resilience against life's challenges.

The episode titled "Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Skills for Overcoming Depression & Emotional Dysregulation" features discussions around DBT, its applications, and personal experiences from Peter Attia and his guest, Shireen Rizvi. Key points include:

• The use of opposite action as a DBT technique, where engaging in an activity contrary to one's current emotion—like interacting with family despite wanting to isolate—can significantly improve mood and behavior 1 2.
• Recognition of multiple causes for behavior, moving past the oversimplified idea of a single cause and appreciating the complexity of contributing factors 3.
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    1

    Opposite Action Effect

    02:18:32
    
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    2

    Opposite Action Works

    02:20:51
    
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    3

    The Causes of Behavior

    02:05:05
    
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    4

    Regulating Emotions

    02:08:15
    
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    5

    Distress Tolerance

    01:49:57
    
• Acknowledging the challenges of regulating emotions, influenced by one's biology, lack of skill, emotional overload, and emotional myths. It's noted that many of these difficulties are related to childhood patterns and reinforcement of emotional behavior 4.
• Distress tolerance is a critical skill in DBT that involves learning to expand one's capacity to cope with stress. Identifying and managing vulnerability factors like sleep and physical pain can make life smoother 5.

The episode touches on how DBT offers strategies for emotional regulation, addressing vulnerabilities, and learning new, productive ways to handle challenging emotions.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches core skills across several domains:

1. Mindfulness: The capacity to be aware of the present moment, paying attention on purpose, nonjudgmentally 1.

2. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Skills for effective communication, asking for what one needs, saying no, and managing conflict 1.

3. Emotion Regulation: Skills to understand and name emotions, handle emotions when they occur, reduce vulnerability to unwanted emotions, and change unwanted emotions 1.

4. Distress Tolerance: Strategies for tolerating painful situations and emotions without making them worse, including accepting reality as it is 1.

5. Self-Management: The ability to do things one may not want to do, including healthy habits and regular commitments, like a mindfulness practice. This aspect is sometimes embedded within other skills rather than emphasized separately 1.

These skills aim to improve an individual's ability to manage stress, emotions, relationships, and handle life's challenges effectively. DBT especially emphasizes the balance between acceptance and change—accepting the situation as it is, while concurrently working to change unhealthy behaviors 2.