• What is narcissistic parenting?

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    Narcissistic parenting involves parents who prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their children. Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that narcissistic parents often view their children as extensions of themselves and use them to fulfill their own needs. This dynamic can severely impact a child's development:

    • Lack of Autonomy: Narcissistic parents do not allow their children to have their own realities or needs, often resenting them for needing anything. Children learn to suppress their own desires and shape-shift to meet their parent's expectations to gain attention or avoid conflict 1.

    • Invalidation and Guilt: Even if children of narcissistic parents achieve success, they are often belittled and made to feel guilty. The narcissistic parent may diminish the child's achievements to maintain control and avoid feeling overshadowed 1 2.

    • Custody Battles: In divorce scenarios, narcissistic parents may use children as tools to hurt the other parent rather than for genuine parenting purposes. They focus on appearances and may play up their role as a "fun" parent while neglecting actual responsibilities 3.

    • Ongoing Impact: Adult children of narcissistic parents often struggle with the emotional consequences of their upbringing, including difficulties in enjoying their own successes and maintaining self-worth 1.

    Overall, narcissistic parenting creates an environment where children feel undervalued and only important to the extent that they serve their parent's needs.

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