Relationship Theory

Relationship theories explore the dynamics and essential components that contribute to healthy and fulfilling relationships. Two prominent theories discussed in the podcasts are the Sound Relationship House Theory and Relationship Motivation Theory.

Sound Relationship House Theory

The Sound Relationship House Theory is devised by Dr. John Gottman. It uses a house metaphor with seven levels and two key walls labeled "Trust" and "Commitment". Here are the main components:

• Foundational Levels: These include "Love Maps," fostering affection and admiration, and emotional turning toward your partner's bids for connection. These levels build friendship and intimacy.
• Conflict Management: Recognizes that 69% of conflicts are perpetual and focuses on mutual understanding rather than resolution.
• Trust and Commitment: Describes how trust and commitment can be measured and built, as well as how they contribute to the relationship's overall positivity.
• Shared Meaning: Building a shared sense of purpose and life dreams is crucial for the relationship’s growth and cohesion.

The theory is underpinned by rigorous data collection and laboratory research, highlighting the importance of measurable components in constructing relational dynamics 1 2.

Relationship Motivation Theory

Relationship Motivation Theory, a sub-theory of Self-Determination Theory (SDT), highlights the role of autonomy support in creating high-quality relationships:

• Autonomy Support: Essential for fostering true intimacy. It involves supporting the self and development of the other person within the relationship.
• Beyond Warmth and Closeness: While warmth, closeness, and support are important, autonomy support uniquely contributes to deep intimacy and relational quality.
• Controlling Motives: The theory emphasizes avoiding controlling behaviors and ego involvement, which can damage relationships.

Richard Ryan discusses how autonomy support is essential not just for relationships but also for other areas like the workplace. SDT's principles have wide applications, including popular works that adapt these theories for broader understanding 3.

Both theories provide structured frameworks for understanding and improving relationship dynamics through evidence-based practices and a focus on key relational components.