What is the addiction to approval?

Addiction to approval is a pattern of behavior where individuals seek validation and affirmation from others to feel valued and significant. This can manifest in various forms, such as checking social media likes, seeking praise for one's work, or needing constant approval from peers and strangers. Several experts provide insight into this phenomenon:

1. Scott Galloway describes his personal addiction to strangers' validation, highlighting how he constantly seeks affirmation through comments and metrics, such as Amazon rankings for his books. He notes the natural human instinct to compete and seek relevance but acknowledges the unhealthy dependency on external validation 1.

2. Dhru Purohit and Gabor Mate discuss the deeper roots of approval addiction. Purohit frames seeking as a desperate need to fill a void, often linked to deeper emotional or psychological pain. Mate adds that this void often stems from childhood experiences, where unmet needs for recognition and companionship lead to later behaviors of seeking approval and people-pleasing. He argues that such addiction is less about the behavior itself and more about solving underlying problems from one's early life 2 3.

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     1

     Desire for Relevance

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     2

     The Seeking Mind

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     3

     Childhood Trauma's Impact

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     4

     Building Self Confidence

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     5

     Building Self Confidence

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     6

     Breaking Free from Approval

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3. Ed Mylett emphasizes the prevalence of approval addiction today, noting how it has become one of the most significant addictions worldwide. He attributes this to a lack of self-confidence and self-approval. Mylett suggests that building self-confidence by keeping promises to oneself and developing faith can counteract the need for external approval 4 5.

4. James Altucher and Humble The Poet explore the quick dopamine hits from social media likes and followers as a form of addiction. They discuss strategies for breaking free from this cycle, such as limiting social media use and focusing on more sustainable ways to feel significant, like personal achievements and intrinsic validation 6.

Overall, addiction to approval can be understood as a compensatory behavior to address deeper emotional needs and insecurities. It's essential to develop self-worth and confidence independently of external validation to mitigate this addiction.