How to raise children?


Shane Parrish and his guests offer valuable insights into addressing common challenges in parenting and enhancing child-rearing practices. Here are some key points discussed:

  1. Expert Reliance and Confidence:

    • The reliance on 'experts' for parenting advice has resulted from societal changes such as increased divorce rates and the desire for technical understanding in raising children. However, the essence of parenting has not fundamentally changed, and the overemphasis on needing expertise for every aspect of child-rearing can undermine natural parental instincts 1.
  2. Effective Communication Strategies:

    • Effective communication is crucial. The comparison between how adults interact and how they interact with their children can reveal inconsistencies. For instance, if behaviors deemed inappropriate or unacceptable in adult interactions are used towards children, it may negatively affect their development and future relationships 2.
  3. Building Resilience and Responsibility:

    • Over-focus on children's emotional states and treating them as fragile can do more harm than good. Real growth comes from facing and overcoming challenges, not avoiding them. Parents can foster resilience by involving children in meaningful activities and giving them responsibilities that make them feel valued within the family 3.

      Parenting Expertise Crisis

      Abigail sheds light on the societal shift towards relying on experts for parenting advice, leading to a lack of confidence in parents' abilities. She challenges the notion that raising kids is a highly technical project and highlights the cultural trends contributing to parental responsibility abdication.

      The Knowledge Project

      Abigail Shrier: Therapy is Probably Ruining Your Kids. Here's Why (And How to Fix It).
  4. Independence and Risk:

    • Allowing children to engage in slightly risky activities like handling kitchen tasks or navigating neighborhood interactions independently helps them develop self-reliance and decision-making skills. Shielding children from all forms of adversity does not prepare them for real-world challenges 3.


Raising resilient, confident children involves treating them with respect, encouraging independence, assigning responsibilities, and being realistic about the challenges they will face. It's imperative to balance nurturing with empowering, reducing the dependency on external "expert" advice where intuitive and traditional parenting can suffice 1 3.