Dealing with hurtful parental comments?


Dealing with hurtful comments from parents can be incredibly challenging. Here are some strategies that and his co-hosts have discussed in various episodes:

  1. Address Gently but Firmly: When parents make hurtful remarks, it could be beneficial to address these comments calmly and assertively. Jordan suggests saying something like, “I don’t mean to be preachy or annoying here, but when you make those comments, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. It would be nice if we could avoid such remarks, especially during our time together.” This approach combines patience, kindness, and firmness, potentially leading to a more constructive conversation 1.

  2. Take Notes and Confront Later: In situations where the comments are particularly harmful, it might help to take notes or even record the remarks and confront the parent about them later. This could involve asking why they said what they did, in an attempt to understand and correct the behavior without immediately creating a scene. This strategy emphasizes reflection and accountability 2.

  3. Separate the Message from the Messenger: It’s important to remember that often these hurtful comments speak more about the person making them than about you. Gabriel Mizrahi suggests mentally separating the message from yourself and seeing it as a reflection of the parent's own issues or insecurities. This can help in not taking the comments too personally 1.

  4. Manage Your Expectations: When confronting parents about their behavior, it's essential to manage your expectations. Reflect on what you hope to achieve and whether it is realistic or beneficial. Are you looking for an apology, acknowledgment, or just a change in behavior? Adjusting your expectations can help manage potential disappointment and focus on what is ultimately helpful for you 3.

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    Jordan and Gabriel discuss strategies for addressing body image comments from parents, emphasizing the importance of separating the message from oneself and finding inner strength. They offer practical advice on calmly addressing the issue and letting go of the negative impact.

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  5. Seek External Support: Managing the emotional toll of hurtful comments often requires external support. Therapy can be a valuable resource for understanding and processing these emotions effectively. Jordan emphasizes the importance of taking such issues into therapy and working through them with a professional 4.

These strategies should provide a good starting point in addressing and coping with hurtful parental comments and working towards healthier interactions.