Does trust come before vulnerability?

The relationship between trust and vulnerability is complex and multidimensional. As explored in conversations between Tim Ferriss and experts like Esther Perel and Brené Brown, the dynamic can work in both directions:

1. Trust Leading to Vulnerability: For some people, trust must be established before they can be vulnerable. This view posits that feeling safe with someone is a prerequisite to opening up emotionally.

2. Vulnerability Building Trust: Alternatively, it is argued that being vulnerable is what actually fosters trust. By showing vulnerability, we allow others to see us authentically, thereby enabling deeper trust.

Esther Perel, for example, discusses that trust can be seen as an "active engagement with the unknown," suggesting that vulnerability might need to come first to build trust. Conversely, it can also be the trust that allows one to be vulnerable 1 2.

Brené Brown emphasizes that you can't earn trust over time without being somewhat vulnerable. This indicates that vulnerability is integral to developing trust 3 4.

Ultimately, the consensus appears to be that trust and vulnerability are interlinked and can reinforce each other, making it less about a linear process and more about a reciprocal relationship.