How does drama bonding work?

Drama bonding is a dynamic where individuals connect over the mutual stress or excitement caused by dramatic situations. It's characterized by the amplification of the initial issue, leading to a stronger reaction and heightened emotions than the actual event warranted. During drama bonding, truth is often not the focus; rather, it's about creating a stress response and the sensation of aliveness and connection that comes with it, which gives participants a false sense of belonging.

For example, Scott Lyons described a situation where a group of people used their shared frustration with a teacher to bond, escalating the situation into something more intense than necessary. This bonding is considered 'false' because the sense of connection established is not sustainable; it exists primarily in the heightened moment of stress and typically does not persist beyond that 1 2.

The prolonged sensation from drama bonding stems from the narrative people construct to maintain the emotion and prevent its natural processing. Emotions usually last for about 30 to 90 seconds, so anything beyond that is perpetuated by the stories individuals tell themselves, which in the case of drama bonding, are often about shared grievances or challenges 3.

Scott Lyons shared strategies for detaching from drama bonding, such as grounding oneself, creating boundaries, and practicing mindfulness to pull away from the draw of the drama vortex 3.