72. Quick Thinks: Talk It Out – How to Successfully Negotiate and Resolve Conflict

Self-serving Biases

Self-serving biases play a significant role in conflicts, often skewing our perception of fairness. Michele Gelfand explains that individuals tend to view their actions as fair while perceiving others' actions as unfair, a bias that is particularly pervasive in the U.S. 1. This self-protective bias can hinder conflict resolution by preventing individuals from acknowledging their contributions to the problem.

We rarely think about how is I unfair in this situation? How are they fair?

--- Michele Gelfand

Gelfand suggests fostering empathy and listening to help individuals recognize their biases and understand the fairness in others' actions 1.

   

Empathy & Storytelling

Empathy and storytelling significantly influence how conflicts are perceived and managed. Michele Gelfand highlights that narratives often become biased, with individuals omitting their own faults while exaggerating others' 2. This tendency can escalate conflicts, as stories are passed along and details are distorted.

When someone gives you a story about a conflict, think about it as a story. And think about it about what are they leaving out?

--- Michele Gelfand

Gelfand also notes the "dark side of empathy," where seeking validation from others can reinforce negative feelings and hinder resolution 2.