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Dexa/Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

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Published Jun 10, 2024

Trauma Doesn't Like to Be Touched

Explore the intricacies of needs, desires, and physical intimacy as Esther Perel expertly guides a couple to confront their unspoken pasts and manage emotional triggers, fostering empathy and vulnerability beyond the shadows of trauma.
Episode Highlights
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Episode Highlights

  • Unspoken Truths

    The episode explores the unspoken truths that often linger in relationships, particularly when past traumas are involved. highlights how silence can stem from fear of disappointment, as one partner reveals his reluctance to share his true self with his father due to fear of judgment 1. This silence creates an imbalance in the relationship, where one partner feels they can only offer "scraps" instead of a "whole healthy, like, enveloping wrap around" 1.

    I want a whole healthy, like, enveloping wrap around. Like, that's what I want. I just didn't know how to access.

    --- Unknown

    The couple's journey through crisis acts as a catalyst for change, pushing them to confront these unspoken narratives and redefine their relationship dynamics 2.

       

    Breaking Silence

    Breaking the silence around past traumas is a significant challenge for the couple, yet it is essential for their growth. encourages them to communicate openly, emphasizing that unvoiced truths can lead to misunderstandings and emotional distance 3. One partner struggles with sharing his internal world, fearing that revealing too much might overwhelm his spouse 4.

    I need to include him in what's going on in my head. I can't just assume that when I say, oh, I have anxiety, he understands what that means.

    --- Unknown

    This realization marks a breakthrough, as they learn that sharing their inner worlds can foster deeper intimacy and understanding 4.

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