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Published May 17, 2023

Therapist On The SNEAKY Manipulation Tactics You Need to WATCH OUT For! | Terri Cole

Licensed therapist and bestselling author Terri Cole dives into the subtle art of manipulation, revealing how gaslighting and faux concern can undermine relationships. She shares actionable tips for setting boundaries and healing from emotional triggers, empowering listeners to recognize and overcome manipulation in their personal dynamics.
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  • Gaslighting Stages

    Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can leave individuals questioning their reality. outlines the stages of gaslighting, starting with disbelief, where victims are shocked by the lies and manipulation they face 1. This often leads to defensiveness, as individuals try to defend their version of events, and eventually to depression, where they may feel defeated and doubt their own memories 1. Terri emphasizes the importance of recognizing these patterns and maintaining self-esteem to avoid falling into the trap of self-abandonment 2.

    It's really identifying the pattern of behavior, because if that is your evidence, write it down.

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    She advises keeping a record of incidents and seeking support from trusted friends to maintain perspective and clarity.

       

    Manipulation Tactics

    Manipulation tactics like faux concern are subtle yet powerful tools used to control others. Terri explains that faux concern involves feigning worry to distract from the real issues at hand, often making the victim doubt their own concerns 3. This tactic can be difficult to recognize because it appears as genuine care, but it ultimately serves to derail conversations and shift focus away from the manipulator's actions 4.

    They are distracting you from what? Your complaint, your issue.

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    Terri advises being vigilant about such tactics and understanding the difference between genuine concern and manipulative behavior.

       

    Handling Manipulation

    Handling manipulative relationships requires awareness and strategic action. Terri highlights the importance of recognizing when someone lacks self-reflection and responsibility, marking them as truly toxic 5. In such cases, she advises against making oneself vulnerable to these individuals, as they can use personal information against you.

    If we have evidence that the person we're talking about has no capacity for self reflection, that is someone who in my book is truly toxic.

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    Terri suggests documenting conversations and maintaining clear communication to protect oneself from manipulation, especially in business dealings 6.

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