Psychotherapist on How to Set Boundaries, End Manipulation, & Stop Being Pushed Around | Terri Cole

Self-Love

Terri Cole emphasizes the transformative power of self-love, highlighting that no external validation or overworking can fill the void that only self-love can address 1. She explains that true self-love involves taking care of oneself first, which in turn allows individuals to give more authentically to others. Lisa Bilyeu adds that setting boundaries is not about pushing people away but maintaining inner peace and authenticity 1.

When you're saying yes when you really want to say no, that isn't being nice. That's just being dishonest. So how can anyone ever authentically love you if you never allow them to authentically know you?

--- Terri Cole

Terri also outlines her five pillars of self-mastery: self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-mastery, stressing the importance of awareness as the first step 2.

   

Support

Navigating support dynamics in relationships requires a balance between offering help and respecting others' autonomy. Terri shares a personal story where her over-involvement in her husband's issue led to more distress, teaching her the importance of asking how to best support him 3. She emphasizes that true support involves trusting loved ones to handle their own problems and respecting their preferences.

Stay on your own side of the street and support the people that you love in finding their own answers. Because that really is love.

--- Terri Cole

Lisa echoes this sentiment, noting that clear communication about needs and preferences can deepen intimacy and prevent misunderstandings 4.