Why We're All Grieving - and How To Deal With It | David Kessler
Renowned grief expert David Kessler delves into the complexities of grief during the pandemic, revealing how processing emotions and finding meaning can foster resilience. Through meditation and community, he shares personal insights on navigating challenging times and building supportive connections.
David Kessler, a renowned grief expert, explains that grief extends beyond the loss of loved ones to encompass various life changes, such as job loss or the end of a marriage. He highlights that many people are currently grieving the loss of normalcy due to the pandemic, a phenomenon he describes as collective grief 1. Naming these feelings as grief can help individuals gain control and better process their emotions. Kessler emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to fully experience emotions like anger and sadness, rather than suppressing them 2.
We become a society now of these half felt emotions that we spend enormous mental energy suppressing.
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By acknowledging and feeling these emotions, people can move through them and find a path to healing.
Stages of Grief
Kessler, who collaborated with Elizabeth Kubler Ross, discusses the stages of grief and their relevance to the current pandemic. He clarifies that these stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are not linear and should not be seen as a strict roadmap 3. Instead, they offer a framework to help individuals understand their emotions. Kessler illustrates how these stages manifest during the pandemic, such as denial of the situation's severity or anger over restrictions.
Your grief is as unique as your fingerprint. There's no one way to grieve.
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This understanding can help normalize feelings and reduce the sense of powerlessness many experience.
Acceptance
Acceptance, according to Kessler, is a powerful stage in the grieving process, though it is not a permanent state. He describes acceptance as a series of small realizations that help individuals find control over their circumstances 4. This stage allows people to focus on what they can change and let go of what they cannot, leading to a sense of freedom.
Freedom is found in reality.
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Kessler also introduces a sixth stage, meaning, which encourages finding purpose in the grief journey.
