What Should I Say When My Kid is Afraid?

Causes

Dr. Becky Kennedy explores the root causes of children's fears, emphasizing the role of unexpected events in creating anxiety. She explains that children often feel unsafe when their world becomes unpredictable, as seen in the example of a child named Vivi who became fearful after ants unexpectedly appeared in her room 1. Dr. Becky suggests that retelling the story of such events can help children process their fears by adding predictability and understanding to the situation 2.

When we tell a story over and over without adding a solution, we're kind of just narrating it over and over. What we do is we add coherence to something that was incoherent.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

This approach helps children feel safer by transforming surprising events into familiar narratives.

   

Manifestation

Fear in children often manifests through both emotional and physical reactions, which can be exacerbated by feeling alone with their fears. Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and discussing these fears with children, rather than dismissing them, to prevent them from growing larger 3. She introduces the concept of embracing nervousness by recognizing that it's normal to feel both excited and worried about new experiences 4.

It's okay to have both parts. It's okay to have both feelings. They're really, really normal.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

By practicing coping strategies in advance, children can learn to manage their fears more effectively when faced with real-life situations.