I Struggle With Codependency. How Do I Raise My Kids Differently?

Defining Codependency

Dr. Becky Kennedy explores the concept of codependency, emphasizing its impact on personal identity. She describes codependency as determining one's needs and feelings based on others rather than oneself. This tendency can lead to a lack of self-awareness and reliance on external validation. Dr. Kennedy stresses the importance of recognizing these patterns early in parenting to prevent passing them on to children.

Codependency is a way of determining your wants, your needs, your feelings based on another person, as opposed to based on your sense of yourself.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

Understanding these dynamics can help parents foster a stronger sense of self in their children, encouraging them to reflect on their internal experiences rather than seeking external approval 1.

   

Breaking Patterns

Breaking free from codependent patterns requires self-awareness and a shift in how we interact with our parents. Dr. Becky Kennedy suggests focusing on cooperation rather than seeking approval from parents. This approach helps establish boundaries and reinforces personal beliefs without needing parental validation. Dr. Kennedy shares her personal experience with this practice, highlighting its effectiveness in fostering independence.

I need my parents' cooperation, not approval.

--- Dr. Becky Kennedy

By experimenting with new ways of being, parents can model healthier relationships for their children, ultimately helping them develop a strong sense of self 2 3.