Counterintuitive Ideas About Marriage, Family, and Kids

Delayed Marriages

The trend of delayed marriages has significantly altered the landscape of relationships in the United States. Lyman Stone notes that the median age for first marriages has risen to around 28.5 for women and 30.5 for men, compared to the early twenties in the 1950s and 60s 1. This shift is not necessarily negative, as earlier marriages had high divorce rates and dissatisfaction with gender relations. However, Stone suggests that a median marriage age of 25 or 26 might be more beneficial 1.

Today, having men marrying at 31 instead of in the past at 25 or 26, we don't have to get back to 21, but maybe we could get back to 25 or 26.

--- Lyman Stone

The rise in delayed marriages is also linked to societal norms and expectations, which dictate the timing of significant life events like graduation and marriage 2.

   

Cohabitation Effects

Cohabitation before marriage has become increasingly common, with over 70% of marriages today involving premarital cohabitation 3. Despite its prevalence, Lyman Stone reveals that cohabitation is correlated with a higher likelihood of divorce. This phenomenon, known as the 'divorce penalty,' suggests that couples who cohabit before marriage may have lower match quality or slide into relationships without clear decisions 4.

If you cohabit, you're more likely to divorce. There is a divorce penalty associated with cohabitation.

--- Lyman Stone

Stone also highlights that the benefits of marriage have declined, making cohabitation a more attractive option for many, particularly those of lower socioeconomic status 3.