Why do people suppress emotions?

People suppress emotions for various reasons, often rooted in cultural norms, personal upbringings, and the desire to avoid discomfort or perceived negative outcomes.

1. Avoiding Discomfort: Culturally, there's a significant pressure to be comfortable and avoid inconvenience. This addiction to comfort means people often suppress negative emotions to escape discomfort. As Todd Kashdan explains, our culture promotes comfort, which weakens us mentally when faced with challenging situations 1.

2. Coping Mechanisms: In work and personal relationships, people might avoid stress or difficult conversations to maintain the status quo. This avoidance can, ironically, lead to worse outcomes such as poorer relationships and job satisfaction 2.

3. Cultural Display Rules: These unspoken rules dictate which emotions are acceptable to show. For instance, some households may only tolerate happiness, pushing other emotions like sadness or anger aside. This limits emotional development and agility, preventing individuals from handling a range of emotions effectively 3.

   
   1
   Embracing Discomfort
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   2
   Stress Generation Hypothesis
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   3
   Embracing discomfort
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   4
   Emotional Suppression
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   5
   Jealousy and Relationships
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   6
   Emotional Component
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4. Emotional Contagion: Suppressing emotions isn't just about internal avoidance; it also affects interpersonal interactions. When someone tries to suppress their emotions in a social or stressful situation, it can backfire, as these suppressed emotions can amplify both in themselves and those around them 2 4.

5. Perceived Weakness: Expressing certain emotions, like jealousy, can appear as a signal of lower value or vulnerability. To avoid this perception, people might suppress these emotions, leading to internal conflict and potential relational issues 5.

6. Psychological Discomfort: Suppressing emotions can sometimes be an attempt to avoid deeper psychological discomfort. Chris Voss mentions that acknowledging and accepting negative emotions can help reduce their intensity, whereas suppression can prolong and intensify the stress 6.

Understanding these dynamics helps highlight the importance of addressing and expressing emotions rather than suppressing them for healthier psychological and relational well-being.