How does missing out feel?

Missing out, commonly known as FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), is a complex emotion deeply rooted in human psychology. Here are key insights from experts on how it feels and why it occurs:

1. Inevitability of Missing Out:

   • Oliver Burkeman highlights that missing out is an inevitable part of life. Realizing this can be liberating because it allows us to focus on valuing the choices we do make. Knowing that you can't experience everything reduces the stress of trying to do so 1.

2. Definition and Historical Context:

   • Patrick McGinnis, who coined the term FOMO, defines it as anxiety from feeling that something better is happening elsewhere paired with an aversion to missing out on collective experiences. This feeling is amplified by technology and social media, leading to constant comparison and dissatisfaction 2.

3. Psychological Underpinnings:

   • According to Jemma Sbeg, FOMO often stems from deeper issues like loneliness, low self-esteem, and general life dissatisfaction. These deeper emotions make the experience of missing out more pronounced and distressing 3.
     
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     Embracing Missing Out
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     Understanding FOMO
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     Understanding FOMO
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     Embracing Life's Choices
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     Embracing Life's Missed Opportunities
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   • FOMO is also a reflection of the need for social belonging and connection, which is rooted in our evolutionary past as social beings 3.

4. Philosophical Perspective:

   • Kieran Setiya discusses how the diverse values we hold make it impossible not to miss out. Recognizing the richness of the world's offerings can help us accept missing out as a natural part of life. This acceptance can transform the feeling from regret to an appreciation of life’s diversity 4 5.

5. The Role of Social Comparison:

   • Jemma Sbeg emphasizes that social comparison, especially as we see friends moving through different life stages, can exacerbate FOMO. This comparison can create a sense of ambiguous loss, where we grieve for a life we have yet to live despite being content with our current situation 5.

Overall, understanding FOMO involves recognizing its inevitability, uncovering underlying insecurities, and appreciating the variety of life’s experiences rather than lamenting the ones we miss.