Finding Your Own Language For Loss: Grief In The Holidays

Physical Reminders

Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Tracy K. Smith shares how physical reminders like objects, foods, and photographs help keep the memories of loved ones alive during the holidays. She reflects on the bittersweet experience of baking her father's favorite cake, an orange slice cake, which conjures a sense of presence and nostalgia 1. Kat Chow echoes this sentiment, noting how the absence of traditional gatherings during the pandemic has intensified feelings of loss 2.

I started early with cooking up food that conjures a sense of my parents. My dad's birthday was Halloween, and so we baked a birthday cake, one of his favorite cakes.

--- Tracy K. Smith

These tangible connections offer a way to navigate grief and maintain a sense of continuity with those who have passed.

   

Storytelling Traditions

Storytelling traditions play a crucial role in maintaining the presence of loved ones who are no longer with us. Tracy Smith emphasizes the importance of speaking the names of those who have passed to keep their memory alive and to experience them in new ways 3. She suggests engaging in conversations that mark significant moments, which can be healing and illuminating.

We can have moments where we say, you know what? I haven't asked you this or have I ever told you this? Let's mark this moment.

--- Tracy K. Smith

These practices allow for ongoing connections and a deeper understanding of both the departed and ourselves.