How can we choose our response?
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To choose our response effectively, numerous experts underscore the concept of control over our reactions despite external circumstances. Here's a comprehensive view from various experts:
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Leila Janah highlights that the only real power we possess is in choosing our response to events, especially those beyond our control. This realization can be liberating and help in transforming painful experiences into something positive for the world 1.
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Hal Elrod notes that between a stimulus and response, there is a space, which allows us to choose our reaction. This space, even if brief, provides the opportunity to react thoughtfully instead of impulsively, promoting resilience in adversity 2.
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Rob Dial emphasizes the importance of recognizing the space between stimulus and response. By acknowledging this space, individuals can choose their reactions deliberately and foster personal growth and freedom. He cites Viktor Frankl's experience in Auschwitz to illustrate the power of this choice 3 4.
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Mark Hyman points out that externalizing blame for our emotional state abdicates our sovereignty. He recounts Viktor Frankl’s belief that we always have a choice regarding our internal experience, irrespective of external conditions. This mindset can break cycles of dysfunctional relationships and trauma 5.
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Katie Wells applies stoic principles to parenting, stressing that choosing calm responses can set a healthy tone in relationships. Acknowledging one’s flaws and taking responsibility for emotional reactions can lead to better interactions and personal growth 6.
Overall, choosing our response involves:
- Recognizing the space between stimulus and response.
- Mindfully opting for a positive and constructive reaction.
- Accepting responsibility for our emotions and not externalizing blame.
- Using this process as a path to personal growth and resilience.
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