Recode Decode: Sally Kohn

Engagement

Sally Kohn emphasizes the importance of engaging with those we disagree with through a method she calls "calling in" rather than "calling out." She shares an experience with Sean Hannity, where instead of confronting him aggressively, she chose to engage him in a conversation about his views, leading to a moment of understanding 1. This approach, she argues, is more effective in opening minds and fostering change than alienating those with differing opinions 2. Kohn believes that hating those who support harmful policies is counterproductive, as it only entrenches their beliefs further 3.

There is no one in the history of the world who said, hey, that other side over there. The way they treat me like I'm a piece of shit and they think I'm stupid and they hate me. I'm gonna go give their ideas a listen.

--- Sally Kohn

Her philosophy is rooted in the belief that no one is irredeemable and that compassion can lead to transformation.

   

Persuasion

Kohn's persuasion strategy revolves around the ABC approach—Affirm, Bridge, and Context. She explains that when people feel attacked, their rational thinking shuts down, making persuasion impossible 4. Instead, she suggests affirming the other person's feelings, bridging the conversation with understanding, and then providing context for your perspective 5. This method aims to create a dialogue rather than a debate, fostering genuine understanding and change.

If I argue with your feelings, it's like I'm invalidating you and what you believe.

--- Sally Kohn

Kohn contrasts her approach with more confrontational methods, highlighting the importance of empathy in effective communication.

   

Compassion

Kohn advocates for compassion over hate, arguing that understanding and empathy are more powerful tools for change. She shares her experiences with online hate and the realization that those she once viewed as hateful were not the monsters she imagined 6. Kohn stresses the importance of being role models in our behavior, especially online, where negativity can perpetuate more negativity 7. Embracing forgiveness and allowing space for change, she believes, is crucial in moving towards a more just and humane society 8.

I want compassion, humanity, equality and justice for myself. It can't just be a one way street.

--- Sally Kohn

Her insights challenge the notion that harshness and retribution are effective means of achieving social progress.