How to set boundaries with family

Boundary Challenges

Setting boundaries with family can be particularly challenging due to the emotional ties and expectations involved. Julia Furlon shares insights from Selah Kerr, who emphasizes the importance of establishing clear limits, such as leaving the room when a family member raises their voice 1. This approach not only protects one's emotional well-being but also reinforces the boundary over time.

I made the hardline boundary of if you raise your voice at me, if you start screaming, if you start yelling or even like getting towards and doing the things, I know where this is going. I'm leaving the room or I'm hanging up the phone.

--- Selah Kerr

Marielle Segarra highlights that while setting boundaries, it's crucial to remember that the only person you can change is yourself, and maintaining these boundaries requires consistent reinforcement 2.

   

Intergenerational Boundaries

Navigating intergenerational boundaries involves respecting elders while asserting personal limits. Selah Kerr describes her experience setting a boundary with her grandmother, who often commented on family members' appearances 2. Despite initial discomfort, Selah's consistent reminders led to a positive change in her grandmother's behavior.

I think she heard that because it wasn't so personal. It was like, this thinking is harmful, and I don't blame you for it, but I will not tolerate it.

--- Selah Kerr

Marielle Segarra stresses the importance of modeling healthy boundaries for children, as they learn from observing adults' actions and interactions 2.