Sharon Salzberg Takes on the Cliches: Authenticity, Love, and Being Your Own BFF

Self-Compassion

Sharon Salzberg emphasizes the importance of self-compassion by treating oneself as one's best friend. She explains that in lovingkindness practice, starting with oneself is foundational, not selfish or self-centered. This practice helps uncover hidden capacities within us and fosters a healthier relationship with ourselves and others.

It's creative, it's fun, it's interesting and so you start with yourself because clearly you are easier than anybody that's produced a lot of laughs over the years because it's not so for many of us that we're not the easiest of all.

--- Sharon Salzberg

Dan Harris adds that self-compassion is intertwined with how we treat others, making it a sustainable practice for genuine love and compassion 1.

   

Love and Emptiness

The concept of self-love in Buddhism often faces criticism for seemingly contradicting the notion of emptiness. Sharon addresses this by explaining that lovingkindness practice is not about deepening one's understanding of emptiness, but about fostering interconnection and reducing fear. She argues that this practice enhances our understanding of life's interdependence, bridging the gap between self and others.

If emptiness is the truth, anything we do that brings us closer to the truth, including serving a meal to an elderly person and listening to them, having a conversation with them, anything we do that brings us closer to the truth is going to bring us closer to that.

--- Sharon Salzberg

Dan Harris elaborates on the dual levels of reality in Buddhism, emphasizing that while lovingkindness operates on a relative level, it inevitably leads to a deeper understanding of emptiness 2 3.